Do What YOU Want to Do

Friends and Colleagues,

Im going to rant about something and not give much attention to grammar and just blow through this thought and submit it...I will try my best to make sure you can understand it, however.

My church is a great church. It is indeed. However, I still consider this place a germ pool of the wrong ideals of life... Now, the christianity part is cool...I dig it... However, I could not disagree more with the attitude of the congregation on issues regarding how to raise children and guide their ambition. I am confident that this is a problem with much of the kids raised in asian households and I am using my church as an example. Well, hell, not just asian people...all people in general...especially high school kids.

Now, I consider my life to be a perfect blessing... and I am veeeeerrry thankful for that no matter how many obstacles my family has faced. One thing that I will have to give props to my parents for is the fact that they really let me do what I wanted to do...infact, when I make huge decisions...sometimes dealing with money, my dad never seems to fail me always saying "if it helps you and you need it, then I will help you". And be sure about it, we are NOT a finacially well off family. It was that trust my dad always gave me. I ended up playing 4 sports, excelled in most of them, and also evolved into an enthusiastic student of music...none of which was forced upon me by my parents.

Some would not be able to trust their children as much...but thats when you give it to God and pray that he may guide your kids...im sure that's what my parents did...in fact, I know that's what they did.

However, I am saddened at the pressure some of these kids allow themselves to be in...it is a problem stirred by the parents, society, and the kids themselves letting these things pressure them. I bring up my church because I feel that this is resonated loudly in the Korean-Amreican culture (yet, is also something families of all races are guilty of). I hear about kids groaping and whining about how busy they are and how much they "have" to do this and that... but that's the problem...these kids are pressured so much into doing so many things and dont experience the grattitude of doign these things upon their own will.... hence feeling like they "have" to go to tennis practice,,,good for the resume into Harvard...thats why they do tennis. Last time I checked, tennis was agreat sport for the sake of enjoyment. If anyone contantly lives with the mentality that everything is on a "have" to do basis...they are not enjoying what they are doing. " I have tennis lessons, then SAT study, then piano lessons, then tutoring...oh man, my life sucks right now"---this is terrible and i cringe when i hear kids talking about this stuff...and I become mad at two things; 1) How unfortunate it is that these kids have allowed themselves to think on terms of merit thorugh activity rather than fulfillment and 2) how much their parents and society have instilled this horrible mentality. When people take on these self enriching activities, it should be done through love and and understanding...not a pursuit to gain prestige that can be visible on their resume. Sports, music, art, volunterring...etc.....this should all be done out of love, concern, understanding....not be done to build up merit capital. When you embark on an acitvity, it should be done because YOU want to do it-Because you might find some enjoyment in it...you dont take initial steps towards participating in activites through thoughts of merit or social acceptance...

Existence is such a great gift. I am always one to encourage that people do as much as they can and live a lfie of thanksgiving and fulfillment. However, I just totally disagree with the atrocities happening with kids today. Kids pursue and work hard with the goal of " it will look good on my resume...or it will look good to the college admissions". Excuse me, but what the FUCK. Activites should be done for the sake of humanity... I just dont agree with this shit. Im pretty pissed right now as I write more.

It is my demand that more parents encourage rather than force the issue... one parent at my church wa sso puzzled at the fact that I did so much in HS and my parents had jsut baout no input on what i did...she was so puzzled...and as a result i was puzzled...am i not supposed to be able to activate myself in so many things...must my parents do it for me? It saddened me...parents jsut do not trust their kids...and parents have beciome so obssessed witht his worldy view of success that they feel the need to interfere with what their kids really want to do...im so happy right now that I throw and play trombone...these are things that I did out of love...not out of what i am "supposed to do". Now, certain things mus tbe forced...and their can be exceptions...but the mindset of doing for the sake of merit and not love is so horrible. It is also horrible to pass these terrible pressures on to your children...lives are being numbed daily...it makes me want to cry.

In somewhat related topic, here is a copy of a letter I gave to UH as they asked for me to write about my intent relating to my chosen area of study...i hope you enjoy it...it has no editions; this is what i gave them:

James Lee

Letter of Intent for Spring 2006 admission

My Intent through My Musical Studies

My intent in my pursuit of music training is plain and simple: get as good as I can-with aid of qualified professionals and colleagues- and take my training and ability out into the world. I am confident that if I fully utilize the combination of the great opportunities provided at the Moores School of Music and my abilities, I will be able to bring the world an essential part of music culture. My ultimate goal and why I practice to play my best is to be prepared to change someone’s life through my life as a musician. People have literally changed my life through their presence or performance and they are still yet to know it or even have yet to meet me! (Like the lady who sat in the middle of the Houston Symphony Violin section in a performance of Handel’s Water Music on a field trip I took in the 4^th grade) Practicing to be the best I can be will put me in the situations to influence people as they have influenced me

Now, for the sake of providing a more clear ambition of what type of occupation I would like to have, I would have to say a job as an orchestral trombonist would top my list. So I’ll practice my excerpts and the discipline of orchestral playing to achieve this goal. Though it is a beautiful job to have, it will be only that…my job. For as long as I will consider myself a professional upon graduation, my life will be devoted to sharing the blessing of music with others and sustaining the strongest force of human communication. I find it quite disappointing that many students put the pursuit of occupations in front of purpose in their study.

I am also blessed with an opportunity to accompany my musical pursuits with a career in track and field as a discus and shot-put thrower. Upon graduation, I will resume my training as an athlete and give Olympic birth my best shot. The disciplines of music and sports go hand in hand as they both require responsibility that is resonated directly through performance. I am hopeful that I can be in a position to pursue these two ambitions at a place like U of H where I can receive world-class training in both…but yes, my intent and only intent as a musician is to rock the world.

21st birthday weekend and Dallas

Hello all,

I spent this past weekend in Dallas and my birthday was Friday. I could pretty much only make it up to Dallas for a visit once this semester and it just so happens that I chose the perfect time. Here's why
-bday weekend
-the recital of a dear friend of mine
-the return of two other SMU evacuees

All in all, I must say it was a great weekend in Dallas. Although I am happy with my life decision to transfer to Houston, I must say that I truely miss being at SMU and it makes me so angry that I could not pursue track and field there due to a lack of a men's track team! Doing track and music at SMU really would be the perfect situation. They threw me a party and it was fun... I got to see a lot of old friends and I was touched when people came by to wish me happy birthday.

The next day, I went and saw Charlene (SMU oboe major) and TJ's (SMU clarinet major) joint recital and as is the case with all recitals, I enjoyed it thoroughly. It was a very well played recital, indeed. Recitals by professionals are very touching but seeing your own colleagues in recital is something special. I had the pleasure of being stagehand. Fate kind of reared it's familar head with me...it turns out, that every recital that Charlene has ever played, I was a stagehand. The weekend that I was availiable to come up was the weekend Charlene had scheduled a recital months in advance...how could I avoid it? I had to be stagehand. One thing I have missed dearly is watchign recitals. UH has been having recitals and such but my schedule lately hasnt allowed me to see them. Seing arecital this weekend in such afamilar place really placed me back into that peaceful musical refuge.

In other news, I had a pretty good lesson last week with my trombone teacher here. Things are finally starting to kick back up and I'm beginning to feel my stride in playing. I also taught my high school kids today and did it rather well I must say. Teaching is something that I'm real proud of. I do have some young teacher's flaws in my teaching but I think my overall apporach is working extremely well for the most part. I expect a lot out of these kids and they seem to respond. The ones who didn't I encouraged to quit for the sake of not wasting each other's time. I've only lost 2 students...everyone else understands what I expect of them and they do it...it's awesome. I really emphasize the importance of being responsible and playing for the sake of...well, playing. Some of these kids get trapped in the competitive aspect of playing and have lost understanding of the gratifying experience of bringing love and respect to their playing and their audience... Im really glad to be able to influence a wave of young players to directly influence and shape their musical pursuits how ever far they take them.

Now I must go do Math HW and study for a math test... just 3 of my 21 hrs of class.

Stay tuned!

-JL