Saturday, March 25, 2006

The answers are all there...

I'm no expert at life but I just don't understand when people cease to have some sense of perspective or logic...I don't understand. It's not something you "do" or "do not"...it's how you see things. You know what, maybe I do understand...maybe because people are so scared (of something) that they just don't want to understand the truth...everyone is capable of knowing the truth...i suppose not everyone is willing to face the truth. I hate hearing people who REPATEDLY always say"if I had...", "If i woulda..." like ALL THE TIME...or when people always seem to blame everything but...themselves. Now I don't want to say you should be hard on yourself but you should definitely face the truth with love and respect. I just don't understand...it's not a matter of being bad person or good person...it's a matter of wanting to know the truth and living in the truth. Why do people only live in one perception...and that perception being theirs? In reality, theres plenty of valid ways to understand one situation...why not use these? People get so caught up in non-sense that they fail to realize what something might be...misunderstandings-though completely human, they are usually a result of complete ignorance...sometimes not. Let's start a new saying...you know that one "you are what you eat?" (i would have to agree that's true because I am a big fat piece of whataburger)...let's now say..."you are what you percieve"...thats totally true...when you think everything is against you and everyone hates you or you think that person doesnt like you... 9 times out of 10, anything that person does will have you concerned because you are so caught up in yourself and how it correlates to only YOUR perception ...how do i know this...i used to be like this...then realization set in...

Also on the topic of perspective- I find it to be only humane that we look at things with a burden to make sense of it...too many people just write off things to make excuses for themselves...and thus giving into a fear of not wanting to know...since when has knowing been such a hard thing? Too many times do I speak to someone and wonder if what they just realized is something they pulled out of their ass...not in terms of knowledge...but more in terms of logical perspective...and then what happens when they cant make sense of it?...here comes the downfall of western civilization today... the use of "whatever"...we're all guilty of it... but some more than others...and especially those who use it to blow off something that they cannot figure out-then they furthur sustain into an existence of what they have been told. "Whatever"? That means to me..."i dotn want to know the truth nor realize it"

And yet another thing...these are all related in some aspects but I am also going to rant on people who LIE TO THEMSELVES of a daily basis. ESPECIALLY the species of mammal we call competitors...as a musician and athlete, i horrible cases of this all the time when people get more caught up in bragging rights and superiority over the sincere task of self promotion and support for others with the same cause. Too many times do I see people in comeptitive spheres lie to themself to massage their own insecurities and fear...how does this insecurity and fear settle in? It settles when we lose the essence of what we are doing...when we focus ourself into things that are extra from the task at hand. Athletes are particularly dumb about this...too many times do i hear of people who hope to engage in mind games during competiton. Such a bastardized form of competition instantly displaces the beauty of athletic competition. This is when were losing our love...the love of competing with other athletes on the basis of your sport. "hey, I got into his head and he couldnt focus and I won..." wow, great job,..you have just beaten someone who couldnt put forth their best effort...what an accomplishment on your part...great work. too many people take efforts to the absolute WRONG things in these situations and i dont know how any of it is gratifying...

No way am I a perfect human being...and in no way am i trying to be. The matters of logic, perspective, and sincerity to your cause seem so natively engrained into a human being and it angers me when people reject these potential beauties of life...
The most influential people in my life (mainly musicians) are so true to their cause...these are people who work hard to improve, love competition, and love the field in which they compete with, and a true love for what they do...and most importantly, these are people who seem to understand things...not because of some talent they possess...its because they remain true to themself...and the gratitude in which they possess reaches far beyond any human offering...they seek the answers that were engrained by God when he created us...why dont we use these blessings?

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Anyays, the track season has been good for me thus far...
When I first re-devoted myself to the sport I promised myself that I would hit 185' in my first meet and I hit 188'. I was so happy...I almost cried, seriously... All I could do was thank God for bringing me back to my passion of throwing after two years of thinking I was DONE.
We've had two meets so far
-UTSA relays 1st place- 188'
-TSU relays 2nd place- 177'
Didnt do too hot when it came time to compete at TSU...my warm up throws went very well-probably wouldve won the meet- but I didnt pull it together when it came time to execute...but thats OK...thats what makes competiton beautiful-its all about what you do when it counts

Ill keep you guys posted.

God bless