I've come to realize that the idea of practice is one of the very few ideas that belong in the category of "life-assuring" acts. The others I'm sure I'll stumble across but practice...why practice is so important is becoming a little more clear to me now. Don't quite have it all yet, maybe never will, but i've taken a good bite.

As I was doing some training this morning out at a beautiful nearby stadium, I found myself in a familiar but rare moment you may get when your focus seems to be unwavering and the world seems to be still and at your disposal. No, I don't mean the achievement of some elusive mastery.
Quite the opposite; I was able to clearly see where I was, where I wasn't, and what I needed to do. So, like a kid in the park, my body soreness left me, my fatigue went away, and my anxiety silenced it self as I joyfully pursued a higher level.

I've realized that in my own experience, practice is best utilized when I am in a certain frame of mind.
-What do I hope to become?
-How will I do it?
-Why am I doing this?
-What do I hope to gain?

Now, I've found myself in immense trouble when the answers to my last two questions were along the lines of
-to earn respect/entitlement/bragging rights/fame/"success"/blah blah blah

When I look back on instances where my motives were the above, I remember much anxiety, failure, stress, discouragement, fear. And worst of all, a sense that I lost myself. Even with all of my work, I didn't seem to get any better and it also seemed that slowly, my love for what I did began to decay. All of my worth became engulfed into the hands of other people. Sure, people have a right to their opinion and how they express it and when seen with a proper perspective it can be very constructive. But where I found myself to be lost was when I made the mistake of making their opinions out to be the culmination of what I was worth. So back to practicing I went, out of more fear, anxiety, self-doubt, and sadly, low self respect.

"Why should I even practice when what I do would inevitably disappoint someone?" was a question that seemed to loom into my psyche.

Well, much peace has come to be when I decided on who exactly it was that I didn't want to disappoint.

God, Me, My Family.

And this is when practicing came very clear to me. Why practice? When you first started out being an athlete/musician why was it easier to practice hard then? And joy was the only result no matter the outcome.

Practice should be the start of your journey , the middle of your journey, and the end of your journey. You should spend your whole life practicing and practicing is your occupation. It would be a shame to set limits on yourself and even worse, to put your personal worth and pursuit in the hands of someone else!!! Your happiness, your joy, your non-stop love for what you do...all to be crashed down buy the hands of someone else?!! Retarded.

Now, people are always deserving of the freedom of speech. Opinions will be varied and you will be criticized! It's all a part of the process but please, please, please don't lose yourself in it. You are the axis, YOU are the most important factor of your pursuits, so everything else should evolve around YOU.

So, practice, practice, practice. Pursue with all of your heart to get better at something....because it's essential to living. Celebrating life, living life. Don't reduce it to the minuscule expectations of a random person.