The Loose Filter

I'll take it

2012-01-18T15:03:00.002-06:00

I'm only 27 so I have a life ahead of me full of ideas and change....
but
At least today, I can be very convinced of a few things after I come home from a very productive training sessions.

Strength, success, and achievement are inevitable through diligence, consistency of work, repetition, wisdom, and most important of all, love.

There is no way that you can ever count on anything to happen for you. The world owes you nothing, the universe owes you even less than anything. All you can do is contribute and hope that what you did meant something ...and then you leave the world the way it is in it's own being. You don't have to rule the world, own the world, try to change the world...the truth is, the world really could do without you if you look on the grand scale.

So, I'm not saying that we should cease to exist but just the opposite. No matter what situation we are in, we are definitely blessed to be alive and be capable of living through love. And when we are able to live through love, freedom is the result.

In my opinion, our success will not depend on what others value in us, or how they measure us. But it will depend on how we measure ourselves to ourselves. What I mean is are we making sure that we are realizing the amazing blessing of life? If we have two legs, do we have a passion to make the most of it? If we only have one, can we still have the passion to make the most of one leg?!

I don't see how life could go beyond that...living out our existence (no matter the circumstance) to the absolute fullest. If life is a celebration of your blessings I don't see how failure enters the equation.

Sure we may come short on certain things but the perspective must remain...what's MOST important and are we understanding that regularly. For me, realizing these things has made me work harder than I ever have. It reminds me of the time when I first started throwing and I would literally throw twice a day for three hour periods only to grow stronger as the day went by...and that felt super human.

ok, ill stop

morning

2011-11-08T07:50:00.004-06:00

Writer Jaques Barzun points out how unfortunate it is that humans have let the brilliant minds of the past be the ultimate of what we think. How foolish this could be considering that with one thought can come millions of different perspectives and ideas (which is a great thing).

As opposed to letting what we learn be a means to an infinite end of wisdom and growth, we let our passed thinkers dictate what we are to think. I can only assume that the opposite is what their progressive minds would have wanted as a result...further thinking, using their findings/beliefs as pillars to our own development.

Well

2011-08-18T23:58:00.003-05:00

sure..there are differences between radical,evangelical Christians and Athiests...

but the two share such identical pattens of detrimental behavior towards each other and to those around them.

don't we all live in one world? Why no compromise for the sake of more understanding?

Optimism

2011-07-20T21:41:00.007-05:00

Trying to be a better man...
Like many wonderful pursuits in life, perhaps this one should be never-ending.

Thank you Jhumpa Lahiri, Randy Pausch, and Confucius for currently helping me at this juncture!

In Stiff Defense of Classical Music

2011-06-28T15:23:00.005-05:00

Very often I hear people speak of classical music (that big umbrella of a term used to describe music between about the 17th-20th centuries) as being merely just "old" music that doesn't lend itself to much creativity nor innovation in today's world of art. Though people may appreciate this music as a historic art form, some are quick to assume it to be just that...historic...as if nothing could be done to it and that it should be framed and displayed on a museum wall. I've heard people say such things as, "classical music is old news...get with the times..."...as if there is nothing to be gained from enjoying it further, hundred of years after it has been written.

In my opinion, to say/think those things is to assume that every human being that has ever existed is exactly the same. Which is, of course, complete non-sense.

Before I write any further, I must point out that I am not opposed to new music and artists who strive to take their pursuits to something they personally find to be more "original" (I use quotations because originality (like just about anything else) is relative to each and every individual). That is their pursuit, and I have mine. When people try to make the case that classical music is no longer, "living and breathing", is when I find much to differ about.

It is true, in just about any classical concert series, it is the music of someone else that you are performing...not your own. Oh wow, how dare you be so boring and unoriginal...you must have no soul. Of course, more sarcasm here. The fact that you are performing a work written by someone else doesn't automatically mean that you are robbed of your human experience of originlaity...which is a conclusion I can't help but make when classical music is so often accused of being "un-original" or "un-progressive"...things of that nature. If that were ever true, how could it be explained that when two people play the same piece, the performances will always inevitably be different. Again, how could you assume that every human has shared the same experience in life and is likely to approach their craft/instrument/voice exactly the same...it is impossible...scientifically so...undoubtedly. Even if two artists were to be educated in the same place, it would be impossible for both of them to come out with an identical retrospect of their training.

Do you know WHY different artists are recruited each year to play the same pieces over and over again? Because, with each stroke of each artist's brush, you can find a very personal and profound beauty unique to that artist. And when that artist has spent years training and listening to his voice and passion, there is no denying that true art is being lived and breathed in the present day. I believe the art in classical music lies in the craft of bringing the story of your life to the the story of the composer and making your best effort to do justice to the music...a personal and honest approach required, bien sur. On top of that, you have waves upon waves of musicians who are trained from a very young age for generations to come who will all have their own unique ways of sharing their musical experience through classical music....likely, ways and ideas that the world has never known. Encouraging this majesty of nature is something that is paramount and many of guilty of losing a hold of this fact time to time, most definitely me!

Even though it will be impossible to find a universal taste on what/who is pursuing a "more noble" art, it is probably best to just see it all as equally important. To see someone who is trying to master a Beethoven concerto in their own way and criticize their pursuit as something played out and unoriginal is one of the most absurd things I can think of. To accuse them of a played out pursuit is to totally rule out the fact that they are about to embark on a truly personal journey towards discovering Beethoven that no one else in the world can match entirely. People forget that. In fact, to think that the only way to go after truly unique music is to go after new "ground breaking" stuff is to give up on the very human ability to make his/her experience their own despite what the subject is.And the art of music is about portraying that unique experience. The art in classical music involves a personal relationship with the composer. This is also very evident in the world of theatre. When one is pursuing their best portrayal of "Hamlet", their intent should be to add their own spin onto a template that Shakespeare put forth. A true and beautiful collaboration if you ask me.

Yes, the world of classical music has seen better days in terms of finances and the stability of some of the world's prestigious institutions but this is not a measure on whether or not this is a living art. Merely, just a sad portrayal of a few factors and how they affect the classical music world (weak economies, modern tastes...etc). But classical music is still alive and well as an art form...don't believe me? Ask the eleven year old girl I heard discovering Mozart for the first time down the hall.

Lee Chul Hyuk

2011-06-20T01:22:00.002-05:00

On this Father's day my dad reminds me of what my Korean name means.
I was born with the name James and that is what is on my birth certificate.
However, for the first time in my 26 years of life, I finally get the low down on what my Korean name actually means!. Yeah, that long...language barriers can kid of slow things down!
As we drive home from our Father's day dinner my dad exclaims from the back, "Lee Chul Hyuk!" (Korean names are preceded with the family name). Well yeah dad, that's my Korean name. "Chul is steel. And hyuk means shining. Shining steel. Strong and bold". "Woe", I say. "Well, now I know".

"Yes, James. That is what I named you".

After spending a few moments feeling a bit too cool about the name, I start to appreciate our Korean heritage a lot more. I start to remember what strong context the culture follows and that names mean something other than just sounding right. A culture that follows a strong set of values and though I may not agree with all of them, I do find them beautiful as they make their ways through hundreds and hundreds of years of history (thousands of years if you consider that we and our values descend from the Chinese and Mongolians).

Although my life has been and will continue to be enormously American, I am glad to be pulled back into realizing where my family comes from and I begin to appreciate more my Dad's effort to remind me of where our heritage lies. With my name comes a whole story of a family's journey, mainly two people who came to America from Korea to raise a family.

Rediculous

2011-05-18T01:15:00.005-05:00

Being a young man myself, I am very well acquainted with the mindset of young people trying to make it in this world. We live in an age where we have to "take" what is ours...what we deserve from our hard work. We have to compete vigorously and claim what we deserve...what is ours. Though it may be perceived as assertive and strong to live this way, perhaps it absolutely foolish.

Why is there such a high sense of entitlement amongst young people?

This is a question that author Randy Pausch helped me bounce around in my head. He points out that this sense of entitlement is a very dangerous thing for anyone... no one deserves to have as strong a sense of entitlement as young people do today. I'm very glad I was able to think about this today and to let it marinate in my thoughts.

I mean, our culture is highly involved with taking. Taking what is ours, what we deserve, what we think we should have because we are so much better than the people who wont get what we're gonna get. What we take will define us. So foolish, isn't it?

I mean, the world has suffered as soon as humanity felt this entitlement. Wars have broken out, the environment has suffered, our resources are dwindling away...

I'm starting to believe that the truly successful people in this world have devoted much of their lives to what it is that they are going to offer back to the world, humanity, and the universe. I don't mean people like Donald Trump. I mean people like Randy Pausch who have lived successful and fulfilling not only carreers but lives as well. The man died with a smile on his face and an open heart...Donald Trump is always frowning about something.

What will we offer back to the world and to what/whom created us? I'm not trying to get religious here, but we can think about this "creative being" in many forms. For some it might be Jesus. For others, it could be nature. For others, it could be humanity, the stars, the trees...anything. Anything that was here before us, existed perfectly before we did, and has already seen the world before we stomped around, acted like self-promoting idiots, spent way too much on a car in hopes to make us look cool...etc. What are we giving back? Why must we give back?

Well, we must give back. Our skills, our passions should serve others...not ourselves. Sure, a purely selfish pursuit of success with lots of money can be possible but in the end if you didn't serve the goodness of people and helped to cultivate it, then did you do anything? Seriously, how many unhappy billionaires do you see out there...a lot! Some are very happy...they did it right.

I'm starting to think that the MOST important investment you can ever make is the investment of making your own effort towards not only enriching yourself but also the world around you. Sure, it is a great idea to invest money into the future as well (and I see to be essential) but it isn't nearly as significant as the dividends that have payed off for people like Randy Pausch who leaves this world having touched so many people in a freightening, soul stirring way. He did this while having the job of his dreams and helping others pursue theirs as well. He was able to pursue his dreams (dreams that resulted in a great sense of honesty both to himself and others)and as a result he was abundant with love that had to inevitably spread to others. Undoubtedly, a beauty such as this that results from being honest is one of many wonders that stem from the Shakespeare's ideal, "to thine own self be true"

All we do is take. When we take more than we give things just will not be right...i've realized this.

The Dream

2011-04-13T12:22:00.004-05:00

Chicago Symphony Orchestra low brass plus the legendary principal trumpeter Adolf "Bud" Herseth.

I dream of the day.

love you all

2011-04-03T15:00:00.002-05:00

Well, church can be a funny place to be but no matter what your faith is, there can be some things that pastors speak about that are worthy of your thought.

At a recent church gig I played, the speaker brought up a survey in which modern young people (I assume aged 8-18) were asked what they wanted to do when they grew up. The majority of the answers were , " I want to be famous". Apparently in the past, answers shared in a similar surveyed had noticeably higher variety of answers. And I do remember this...as a young child, all of us used to share our dreams to each other and answers were usually specific. "I want to be a fireman, I want to be a lawyer, I want to be a doctor, I want to be a football player"...etc

Now, I guess you could never really trust what a very young person has to say about their future but these findings are still a bit off-putting to me. I mean, it would be no surprise that most people actually ended up doing something else other than what they might have once blurted out on a playground (and are still happy as a result) but at least their life included a pursuit of a vocation...a calling...a search for self. When I interpret this survey, I have no option other than to believe that we now live in an age where it is far-fetched for someone to take pride and nurture what their dreams are. Or at least, people tend to lack a personal opinion on what it is that they are (or at once were) passionate about. Instead of growing and nurturing a gift, we compromise it.

"Don't Be Afraid of Who You Are"

2011-03-08T11:27:00.008-06:00

Lately I have been buried into quite a bit of audition preparation and I have taken away a lot of small victories as well as some obvious failures. I am very happy with the recent progress I have made as a player and musician but I came to a very frightening crossroads that made me take a good look into myself as both an artist and a human being.

Both in life and in art, whether it is right or not, you are constantly being judged and perceived by an audience be it in a recital hall, audition panel, or in a cafe as you read a magazine. It's just the truth. In my opinion and experience, judgments made upon people can be good but can obviously be bad. I mean, you can see a woman dancing in the street and you can think, "wow, she's nutts"...or you can think, "ah, that's sweet"....either way you have made a judgment. Of course, the latter judgment is most pleasant and beneficial and we (me most definitely) should all strive to have such perceptions.

I am sad to realize however that much of my playing lately (despite, again, my satisfactory progress) has ventured too far into my hopes of how I should be perceived as a player and as a result have felt a slight diminishing of my personal voice as an artist. Now, I say " too far" because I do believe that a necessary part of us should be invested into how others may perceive our playing. I mean, gotta be in tune, must have correct rhythm, and the sound should at least not be "bad".

Wow, even as I am writing this, I feel a slight pause in my thoughts as I am keeping my reader in mind...as a result, I feel a bit limited in my thoughts...whew. Anyways, back to the post...

But, it concerned me quite a bit when a dear colleague of mine commented that my playing just sounded like I was judging myself...it was that apparent. I thought too myself, "wow, these types of comments just never came up to me in the past". Always, people complimented my sound, musicality...i mean, people definitely pointed out my issues with tuning and tempo but I could always walk away knowing that people sensed that I loved playing and that my sound was truly....mine. But this time, it was the opposite! It appalled me then and still does today even a few weeks later. How did this ever happen? My sound? You don't like my sound?! I mean, I suppose sound is a subjective issue that is relative to the listener but to have no opinion on my sound other than the fact that it didn't even deserve an opinion was something else. Everything else was right (the stuff that I had been working on), but the things that I could really depend on as my personal endearments of playing had taken a back seat...boy, was that a wake up call. I will forever be indebted to my colleagues who pointed this out to me.

This situation only caused a small panic to me. I know I can get back in touch with the elements of music making that I love so much because I know that whatever the things are that make music real to me are a part of who I am. I don't have have to search for these things, I just have to be myself again. Being criticized and judged are valuable things for musicians but I have concluded that only when I present who I truly am to listeners can I get the best and sound constructive criticism. Only then can I cultivate and build upon who I am as a musician.
So, lately this thought of, "don't be afraid of who you are", has compelled me a great deal. I mean, it is a common idea heard by everyone at least a million times but it is no simple matter. Stupid me of course, never paid much attention to a thought like this because my usual tendencies of arrogance get the better of me. "me not being myself? impossible!". Ha, yeah, right. I got a good slap in the face on that one. This doesn't just stay with music though. It must be apparent in our daily lives.

I mean, knowing and more importantly being who you are is so essential to happiness ...well, at least it has been for me recently. Understanding what makes you and recognizing it as good and perfect has been an important step for my personal life. Of course, we can all use tools for improvement...but it has to be for the pursuit of goodness. How will these improvements benefit you and the others around you. So we have to be very observant and conscious of what is good. And if the efforts are true, then we must trust that we are making the right decision. Maybe the first start is by not making such negative judgments about events and people. Or how about, being more open minded or committing ourselves to taking care of our bodies...etc.

So by god, if your eyes are brown, keep them brown! Or how about if you have a goofy laugh, well know that someone will love that about you. Don't try to change the way you speak. If you have a joyous high-pitched song of a voice, don't let someone tell you that you need to speak lower. If you have gorgeous hair, why try to mutate it to make it look like someone else... "someone else"...a dangerous, deathly mold to follow. I mean, the world is beautiful because different people exist.

Monotony is the birth of death. Death of art, thoughts, people, ideas, and the death of truth.

Many beautiful things in this world have become bland and vanilla due to the fact that the world has gravitated towards them and diluted their sense of "special"...why feed into that? Perhaps the great runner Steve Prefontaine embodies this the most clearly for me. "Pre" knew he wasnt the most gifted athlete. He knew he wasn't the most trained athlete...but he knew what he had and it made him successful....he believed in it! The ability to push himself unlike any other person, beyond pain, was his gift. He says, "to give anything less than my best is sacrificing the gift".

letting go of yourself means letting go of your gift...and more tragically, it means you have given up on who you are and no longer value it.

Art flourishes because people have something to say. Why then, do we lose ourselves. When we do so, we are not only a detriment to ourselves but truly, we are hurting the world and humanity by lacking any sort of offering.

The most precious gift we were given at birth is the gift of ourselves. Once we let it go, we are losing the gift. A musician will lose their voice, an actor will lose their brilliance, and a human being will lose their soul. Maybe occasionally we tend to let ourselves forget the gift, but we must fight to remember what our gifts are and look forward with them!

Paradise

2011-01-17T23:25:00.003-06:00

I'm convinced that perhaps the most wonderful time in a string of a few days of off time is the day before you go back to work! Ok, maybe it's just me but I find the electricity of a Sunday morning (or a Monday morning for holidays such as MLK) to be amazingly vibrant. I mean, sure, Saturday is nice. Friday night, cool, time to go out and enjoy some time with friends. But it seems to me that it isn't until Sunday when I really start to appreciate literally...everything. I mean, I really don't think it's just me. I think it could be safe to say a lot of people feel the need to get up early on Sunday, get outside, and really move around. Nothing beats a Sunday morning on Swift Blvd (my current lane of paradise). The tree-lined street provides beams of penetrating sunlight and you are often greeted by a very warm couple also making sure to capitalize on such a beautiful site. Or how about the mom pulling her daughter in a wagon who is trying to figure just how it is that the leaf she is holding can manage to have such a beautiful shape. Sunday morning...
It seems like only on Sunday morning do I become amazed at the leaf that is blowing in front of me as I walk...or how about how perfectly the sun reflects off of the wet ground that has been soaked by one of Texas' often "bam bam thank you maam" rain shower that is often proceeded with the most perfect sunlight. I mean, every other day off is awesome as well but often am I occupied with other things/people...never really able to stare at a blade of grass and appreciate the fact that this blade of grass could have easily gone unnoticed. Perhaps I just need some more time to be my cookoo self.
It's as if Sunday is the day I really am forced to understand how good life really is. Well, Sundays along with Beethoven. Ludwig always reminds me of how beautiful everything is. All I have to do is put on a recording of his work and instantly...instantly...any cynicism in my body is dissolved by the warm sonorities of his masterful writing. Any doubt in my mind is erased by an unstoppable determination to proceed! Things aint bad.

I want to shift gears here and pay homage to a young man who is currently playing basketball for the TCU horned frogs. Now, it isn't very easy to watch the TCU basketball team on TV...well, quite frankly because they have sucked for most of the passed decade. However, as I was watching last weekend's Packers vs. Falcons playoff game, the bar I was at had another screen on with some obscure channel that was playing, of course, a Mountain West conference brawl between TCU and Colorado State University. It was then when a young man named Amric Fields caught my eye...such an impressive player that it inspired me to write about him. He is a 6'9'' freshman out of Oklahoma. Prior to this game I had no idea who he was but I noticed a long lengthy kid who was hustling to every lo0se ball, making steals, leading fast breaks and finishing strong at the rim, getting plenty of And 1's. I had to keep watching and the more he played, the more I was in awe of this kid....simply put, he is what us sports junkies would call a "gamer". A "gamer" is a very special player who plays hard, plays right, knows the game, and knows how to be a great team mate. I am absolutely confident we'll see this kid doing very solid things on the next level some day and I am just surprised at how TCU got him and how schools such as OU (close to his hometown) didn't land him. Amric Fields...remember this name.

ciao,
James

Reading and then some

2010-11-15T00:18:00.003-06:00

"Shambhala: The Sacred Path of the Warrior"- Trungpa
"The Analects"- Confucius
" The Trial and Death of Socrates, Four Dialogues"- Plato

The latter two I bought at the very nearby half priced books one Sunday. Every Sunday morning I take a walk to La Madleine, Starbucks, then conclude with a trip to Half Priced Books. I usually shop through their great LP section but these two books found their ways to my interest.

Trungpa's book was handed to me by my room mate, Rene. I will probably start with this one as I march on down through the above list.

And at a whim, I am compelled to start a preliminary list of things I wish to do before I turn 30 in about four years (October 7th, 2014).

-Play in a "big-five" major American symphony orchestra (New York, CHICAGO, Boston, Cleveland, Philadelphia)...a bit hard to exactly time that but I thought i'd include it anyways. This one might be a bit later...or a bit earlier!
-Go to Austria, Germany, Spain, Italy, France, Greece, New Zealand , Australia, Venezuela, Oregon.
-Own a very beautiful vintage truck...probably a 1970 Chevy
-Be back in school to study something else (not to switch field or to obtain a "back up"...but rather, be enveloped in the study of something else).
-Go back to Korea
-become a bit better at French and Italian. Dabble in German
-still own the "Golden Bullet". 2003 Toyota Sienna Minivan
-still remain in my belief that smart phones aren't "needed". Oh wow, how did we EVER survive without them?
-throw over 200' in the discus (which will be quite a challenge seeing as though I don't really train my throwing anymore...but I think i can still do it.
-start a sports performance training group focused on excellent performance...not some trendy magazine junk. Bigger, faster, stronger shall be our goal.
-teach less students...dramatically less.
-tour with a musical around the country
ok... that can suffice for now.

Things I want to do NOW (or in the near future)

-practice my butt off
-get better at jazz improvisation
-play in a salsa band
-get faster and get stronger
-take auditions (summer festival auditions soon and Chicago Civic Symphony)
-try out my shot at playing basketball at Houston's famous Fonde recreation center
-resume my "take lessons with anyone with ears" mode
-see more opera this year
-talk to the nice bartender at the "The Ticket" sports bar in Seguin, TX when im there again to play a concert! Ha, I chickened out last time HARDCORE.
-constantly live in thanksgiving for the beauties I see everyday.

Something about JS Bach

2010-11-12T22:20:00.002-06:00

It's no secret that listening to Bach can be a very beautiful experience. His work is crafted masterfully and is perfectly placed in what can seem like a mathematically correct balance.
I am convinced, however, that Bach saved a very sacred and elusive facet of his music to be appreciated solely by those who perform it. Music can be seen as a way for humans to tap into a very special place that could not be reached through any other vehicle, and it is the music from the pen of Bach which has convinced me of this lately. Sure, listen to the music of any master and you can feel gorgeous and transcendental beauties, but Bach doesn't stop there. It seems to me that the nature of his music tqkes you out of this world and to another place where humans can truly be a part of a cosmic plane! It's as if you are meeting Bach there!

Lately, my practice has evolved around the prelude to Bach's cello suite no. 1...yeah, that one you've heard. Of course, it's a pleasant piece...but let me tell you, this seemingly casual-to-play piece of music is anything but! Disguised by Bach's wonderful chordal structures, there is a very firm underlying struggle to make all of these passages feel facile. So, as a result, I have spent a lot of time doing very slow practice followed by gradual work towards a tempo I find to be suitable. Much time is spent hearing the intonation (it is a HIGHLY tonal piece of music after all), keeping steady tempo yet letting the music breath in its own way, finding musical lines, and making sure that every single note gravitates to it's home. Through this work, through this execution...this is where I feel Bach leaves his greatest legacy. Somehow it seems that when I get a bit more familiar with the music and it's technical difficulties become a bit easier, it's as if every fiber within in me is being realigned and corrected by the ever so perfect swoop of Bach's hand...truly, at this point, nature coincides with music! So after about a half hour of grueling work trying to work out the nooks and crannies of the first few lines, I let myself play the music at my desired tempo. I took a deep breath, let the beauty of the writing be my guide, and went. With my eyes closed I let it all go and I swear to all that I believe in, when I was able to let myself go into the music, it truly felt as if effort had left me...as if Bach took my arm and played it for me. My efforts seemed useless, and If I were to "try" then it would have failed miserably.

So, in conclusion to all of this, I am convinced that when one sets out to practice any of Bach's works, they must stop to think and love every millisecond of every note. Never can you play it slow enough...the only way to play the music is to have felt every note and to let it become a part of who you are.

I will resume my work on this piece and it is a work that I hope to open a recital with in the future....i've had some great experiences with it...but, as reality reveals, I have MUCH work to do!

2510 Swift Blvd

2010-11-10T09:02:00.002-06:00

There's a list of topics/ideas that I would like to write about one day dangling from the wall behind me but this easy Wednesday morning lends itself to some light fare. For now, just a slight update.

The more I live in this new home, the more I am loving it. Our little house on Swift blvd sits in the most beautiful neighborhood I have ever seen in Houston. So beautiful in fact that it inspires me to wake early on weekends and just stroll down the street and meet the other smiling faces that are doing so as well. So beautiful that I have definitely begun to believe that so much of our life is wasted on seeing the moon as opposed to the sun. I mean, its not like I live off the edge of a vast mountain range or at the brook of a river. But in it's own way, my street just delivers such a beautiful warmth. We have huge trees, soaked on brown and green that provide a tunnel for our street. When the weather is humid (which is often) and sun comes out in the morning, you can see very apparent beams of sunlight shooting in every direction, fighting their ways through the crack and crevasses of perfectly placed leaves and branches. When I'm practicing, I often look out the window to stare at the old couple who make it a point to walk everyday at the same time. And when I see these people on the street, I get warm smiles and compliments..."thank you for the free concert!". I make it a point to walk at least once on a weekend morning and to benefit the blessing of such a warm neighborhood. It really is therapeutic.

James Lee, recruiter for University of Houston men's basketball

2010-10-29T00:25:00.002-05:00

Ok, not really.

But in the latest issue of the Houston Press the front page story is "Bringing Back Phi Slamma Jamma". Of course, this spin off of a fictional fraternity name refers to the glory days of UH's prosperous and nationally-renowned basketball program under the helm of former coach Guy V. Lewis some thirty years ago. The article goes into depth about the rise and fall of such an amazing basketball program and how it is currently brewing a desperate comeback to what the students used to look forward to seeing on campus. One very fine point that is well known throughout this whole dilemma is that the modern-aged program at UH hasn't had much emphasis on retaining and recruiting talents from the Houston area. Houston is a region rich in amazing young athletes in all sports and much of this talent is exported to bigger and more well known schools with stronger basketball programs such as the University of Texas, Arizona, North Carolina, Connecticut and the like. Though it may seem logical that UH would extend it's recruiting efforts in it's own city, it can almost seem like a trivial effort considering the offers that young high school athletes get from more prestigious athletic programs. Newly hired coach James Dickey claims that one of his missions during his tenure will be to tap into the basketball goldmine that is Houston. The mission will take lots of work and a true belief in selling the product that is UH. I mean, why would you, an 18 yr old high school senior, with the choice to play anywhere in the nation chose to stay at UH and not gain nearly as much national recognition? Well, here is the logic of one James Lee, recruiter of UH men's basketball, and his pitch to a high prospect athlete deciding where to take his talents.

"Dear Young and Nationally Ranked High School Prospect,
It is my pleasure to write to you today and to invite you to consider making the University of Houston your home for your collegiate academic and athletic career. With your great talent and attitude, it is of no doubt to me that this letter is only one in a continuous contingent of recruiting letters from other fine universities and basketball programs; I would expect nothing else when considering your abilities both athletically and scholastically.

I am writing you today because I want the UH men's basketball program to be something special. In order for me to do this, I am targeting directly the best talent this country has to offer and making you aware that you and I can help this amazing university and it's basketball program get back to the national spotlight where it belongs. I have watched your progress through your prep career and you possess the strength and determination to help our efforts of resurrecting a program that belongs in the spotlight.

We are well aware that you may be considering other option and fine options at that. You may chose to go to a great program to be a part of something big. If you bring your talents to UH, you will be doing something big, not just joining it. Once you step foot on our campus, we will make you stronger, faster, and help you improve your game everyday in conjunction with our goals to turn fine athletes such as yourself into better players, citizens, and men.

Mr. Prospect, we are truly looking for the nation's finest. Athletes who can not only excel at the game, but also contain the strength and honor to fulfill a very strong duty to the University of Houston. Together we can truly bring a new fire to this town and you , prospect, are someone whom we can trust this responsibility to.

We hope you can join is this fall as we begin our training camp

Thank you for your time and we wish you nothing but success for your life.

sincerely,
James Lee"

Some things will remind you...

2010-10-22T00:24:00.003-05:00

When you teach 35 students a week, you tend to bury yourself in the grind of just getting through all of those lessons. Sure, you do realize that you are teaching an amazing gift to younger people but not all lessons lend themselves to such a beautiful ideal. I mean, lots of kids don't practice or care. Most of the time (well, a LOT of the time) students are not prepared.

I would like dedicate this post to two of my newest of students, Ethan and Nicolas! These two fine young men are sixth graders who just signed up for lessons and their enthusiasm and excitement of learning how to play a long metallic slidey thing has truly been an absolute joy to be around. This is probably the happiest I have ever been while playing simple tunes such "Jolly Old St. Nicolas" and "Ode to Joy" in the most simple of rhythms! These two kids remind me EXACTLY how it felt to first hold the trombone and with their pure excitement comes a newly found love of quarter notes on my part!

A little spare time

2010-10-11T01:32:00.003-05:00

I have just begun the preliminary steps to becoming a volunteer in the Big Brothers and Big Sisters organization in Houston. It's hard to explain what compels me (us) to do such a thing but the more and more I think about it, the stronger the pull is towards joining. It flusters me when I try to think about why it is that I want to do this ...but I do.

A little here, a little there

2010-09-25T00:01:00.003-05:00

Well, Friday night, I'm sitting at my new desk (given to me by my generous roommate), under a beautiful lamp (also gifted to me from a friend), and there probably isn't anywhere else I would like to be right now. This reminds me quite a bit of my freshman year of college when I wanted nothing more on a Friday night than to sit alone at my desk and watch movies.

For the first time since moving to my new home my room is organized and I must admit, though it may seem silly, that my everyday life really has augmented quite a bit as a result of a neat and clutter-less room (well, a few papers here and there). There definitely has to be some universal truth in my findings but to be honest, I rarely have lived in a tidy and functional living arrangement...ha, serious, in 25 years. I feel like such a caveman, late to the findings of the normal and functioning adult. I mean, I come home, I turn on the lamp, I sit at my desk, and I take care of business. There is now beautiful couch (thanks to my roomie, again) that sits in the corner of my room so you are more than welcome to come into he humble abode. Clearly, living with two guys who really like to keep things tidy has rubbed off on me.

In other news, life as a musician has been good. I've made some dramatic improvements in my playing (much having to do with the wonderful people who have helped guide my efforts through lessons) in the past half year or so. However, and this is very common, I've come across a string of a few weeks of not so good playing/achievement in my practice and those rough patches are very hard to work through.Who knows exactly what the problem may be but things aren't quite clicking like they might have in the passed months...but these types of things are inevitable. I feel happy that I am able to deal with this better than I have in the past. Rather than being discouraged or puzzled at what is happening, I have peace in knowing that no one is always perfect and that the enjoyment and love of music making shall always be greater than any anxiety. Rough patches are inevitable and when people encounter them, I feel that it is necessary to look to perspective for a sense of peace. For me, music and the joys it brings me will always be greater than the anxiety involved with playing a brass instrument. When I remember what it is about making music that I love, my problems in the physical world become very trivial. When I am in this mindset, my fear of playing leaves me and I can enjoy it the very same way I did when I first picked up the horn at the age of 11.
I do want to write about this in a bit more detail but I do think I shall save that for another time.

Big game this weekend, Texans vs. Cowboys.
I need to first start by saying, I really have no idea who will win. I know for a fact that the Texans are the better team. However, one of the amazing beauties of any competition in general (be it sports, music, art, whatever) is that the best contender doesn't always win.
The Dallas Cowboys, despite lacking a win in their first two outings, are still considered to be a top notch team in the NFL and have been for the passed several years. An 0-2 start for any team would make them hungry to make sure that the number is not 0-2. This Cowboys team is going to come out with some major fire under their bellies and they are hoping to prove something against a Texans team that is slowly earning national recognition as the best team in the state.
In order to win this game, the Texans need to let go of any sub-conscience morals and decide to beat someone down when they are already down. No inch of sympathy should be anywhere near that locker room and the Texans need to come out with a continuous chip on their shoulder to prove to the nation that the Texans are for real. See, we aren't a team that can depend on our past of winning experience...well, because we aren't traditionally "winners". The Colts have lots of security within themselves. They may lose a game, get their ass kicked, but they know one thing; they have one of the greatest players to ever play the game quarterbacking their offense.
The Texans do not have that luxury or comfort. Our only success has resulted from an amazingly high amount of energy that has stirred from a whole off-season's worth of preparation and a need to prove something. We have to maintain this throughout the whole season to garner any real success that would hopefully lead into a nice post-season birth.

ok, time to go buy some water,

good night friends

yours

James Lee

The Dangers of being "busy"

2010-09-22T00:15:00.006-05:00

Well, the school year is in full swing and with it comes back a big chunk of my day that I so easily let go of during the summer months :)
When you combine teaching with a self-mandating need to practice and time in the gym, the day fills very quickly sunrise to sundown (and then some).

Teaching lessons/masterclasses non-stop for hours a day can have its rewards but it will take its toll on anyone (which is why I have gained such a high respect for the men and women who put themselves in that situation all day).
Although it is nice to be working again after a nice summer break (and serving society through sharing music), I have already begun to miss the idle moments that my brain enjoyed so much during the still and ever so slow days of summer. Lying down on my bedroom floor, hands behind my head, eyes closed, as I let my mind wander is something I miss very much and I will have to make it a priority during my weekends (despite my heavy appetite for football at the moment!).

So I think this constant yearn to be industrial all the time isn't quite what it is cut out to be. People need recess and they need it often (several times a day, I feel). Without my brain time to wander and to wonder, i've noticed that less of my brain is used on a daily basis and it literally feels like it has a lack of exercise (again, despite a hectic day).
I also think I've noticed this in other people as well. I know plenty of brilliant people, sharp witted people, who seem to have been victim to their day-to-day. I feel like what I am trying to point out here is widely recognized as a struggle with many of the 9 to 5 crowd, but my realization of it is just now hitting as my day has become a bit crowded.

HA, for one, my writing isn't quite what it used to be! I have looked back on what I have written in the past, and it seems to me that a younger, and even more immature me could communicate more clearly and thoroughly than I can now. Well, I will consider that it is now 12:38 am, and maybe my brain just isnt good at this time of day but still, it does bother me that it used to seem a bit easier to punch out what I am thinking on the keyboard.

So, what to do...
-well, one thing I will carry on from summer is the habit of reading often.
-Also, I will give myself more days off of work
-I will embrace my weekend (when not practicing or exercising) and make sure that I give my brain ample time to sit in silence and to let itself go wherever it may choose!
-And I will try to write more. This blog is called the 'loose' filter and it shall be exactly that...to ensure that I punch out what I am thinking and to do it freely and with much fervor!

I am truly happy to be passionate about two things in life...music and sports. My day evolves around them....everyday. I am one who will encourage you to be passionate about what you do but I must re-think the idea that it should consume your every breath. In fact, brief time away from it, I feel, helps cultivate it. So embrace your need to recess and answer to it often. it is essential.

What I love to do

2010-09-20T00:44:00.002-05:00

We live in a country where we are free to believe in whatever it is that we find to be true...and our country is great for that.

No matter what it is that you believe in, it is no doubt that music is a gift to us and not something we grasped ourselves. It came before us and will remain without us for all of eternity...it is greater than us.

As I journey through life as a musician, with it's highs and lows, I am always humbled by the idea that for me, I can only be successful in music if I am offering it back to whatever it is in this world that gave me such a blessing.

Money Trumps "Success"

2010-09-17T00:26:00.005-05:00

It's such a shame but it is true.

People who have gone through way more in life and have had to overcome so many things seem to never have their successes appreciated nearly as much as the person who makes more money...generally speaking, of course. Not everyone lacks a heart.

There are people who have raised such amazing families and communities who will never be as widely recognized and honored as much as next year's top draft pick or next big millionaire.

Or how about a recovering drug addict...that is such a HUGE success that people don't recognize and admire as much as someone's net worth.
it kind of saddens me

Mendelssohn

2010-09-15T00:11:00.003-05:00

Is it just me, or was Mendelssohn one the most amazing craftsmen of beautiful melody?

Goodness...

Balance?

2010-09-13T22:41:00.003-05:00

So, the Texans played amazingly yesterday in their stomp of the Indianapolis Colts.
What we always knew about the Texans is the fact that they posses a solid amount of talented players. What was always in question is whether or not these players/coaches could handle winning in a professional and legitimate matter (winning by fine play as opposed to circumstantial events or mistakes by the other team). Although it was only our first game, I think the Texans fans should be happy to see that our team showed a high level of professionalism and game management. As a team that is not really regarded as a run-the-football team, we sure did show the nation that we could indeed dominate on the ground game. In fact, a screaming majority of our offense evolved around the running game.

So, now we have fans who are concerned..."well, that is great, but are we going to see a balance between the running game and the passing game?...we need more balance".

How stupid can you be to make balance your priority when running an offense?

I suggest the goal to be scoring at at the expense of any measure. The Texans recognized that their running game was going to help them win the game so they stuck to it. If they were preoccupied with "balance" as opposed to being occupied with scoring, then you would have seen less success out there.

What is ideal in an offense is to have a balance of capability...versatility in order to adapt to situations. But that's it.

You can use the analogy of a painting. Why would one who is trying paint to a certain mood or thought use anything that may deflect them from their goals in the moment? Should they add trivial factors to the work just so they can fulfill some formula of what makes a good painting?

so, as you can tell, I hate hearing about people worrying so much about maintaining more balance in our offensive attack as they seem to forget that we dominated a game against a great Colts team that will prove to be a strong super bowl contender yet again.

How to Train a Volleyball Player

2010-09-06T14:09:00.004-05:00

The next installment in the "How to Train A __ " series is the sport of Volleyball.

My experience with the wonderful sport of volleyball is very limited but I have watched it enough to appreciate the great athleticism involved in such an acrobatic sport. In the game, it seems to me that there are several roles played by different people on the court. In my attempts to dissect the training, I will examine the very common grounds that must be present in all effective volleyball athletes.

Volleyball players must:
-Have lightning quick reaction and lateral quickness
-Have an impressive vertical leap and be able to jump quickly as well as they do high.
-Possess very strong body awareness in order to maneuver themselves to getting any ball
-Have good physical strength in order to create powerful shots (kills, I believe is the terminology!)
-Be able to jolt their bodies either way from a stagnant position

The Scheme:

Much emphasis must be put on training compound lifts and movements (movements that involve the use of many muscle groups) that promote overall athleticism and physical ability. Optimal volleyball athletes often have a lean physique, mobile, and explosive that still possesses an exceptional amount of strength transferred to the ball. Everything should be geared towards becoming stronger all around as opposed to strengthening just one muscle group.

The Training:

* The weight used should never be weight that is too heavy. Lifting should be light and explosive. Obviously, when the athlete gets stronger, the weight used to train will inevitably increase but never at the expense of lifting in a stagnant and lethargic manner.

Power Clean-flat out the best way to train overall body explosion and athleticism

Squats- strengthens your legs and also promotes growth in the posterior chain (glutes, hams, and calves) that are essential to explosiveness.

Push Ups- A very compound movement that build the chest, shoulder, triceps, and helps with core stabilization

Pull Ups- compound movement that trains the back, more shoulders, bicep, and more core stability

Shuttle Runs- a drill created in order to train lateral quickness and reaction time

Box Jumps- helps increase vertical leap and also explosiveness throughout the jumping movement. Also helps with determination and obstacle training.

Punching Bag- Yes, hit that bag and learn how to transfer your newly found power into effective hurt bombs. The body can build strength but training how to apply strength to non-weight activity is often overlooked.

40 Yard sprints-only 40 yds! Training short bursts of speed and immediate velocity.

Till next time,
James

Watery Eyes In the Car

2010-08-19T17:38:00.001-05:00

8/19/2010

It is an ordinary day. Nothing too spectacular about it… but a simple saying for me has turned into a personally helpful chain of thoughts. Not thoughts that I hope to enforce upon your psyche, but thoughts I have found to be true. I don’t want to question anyone’s life, I just want to share what has made me so happy today.

Chase a dream, not a lifestyle

As a newly single man, and maybe with the case with other men who have found themselves one half short, I have been forced to deal with a sudden drop of self perception and self esteem. As much as I like to feel that I am mentally strong, there is no doubt I’ve had to face some demons. I wouldn’t say that my particular case of failed romance would be a direct correlation to this the above italicized statement, but rather it did get me thinking. You know, how two things can spur from one another but aren’t necessarily related? Anyways, on I go.

All day this “chase a dream, not a lifestyle” blurb has been echoing in my head. Yeah, sure, it sounds good (a bit cliché), but it did ring a good bell for me.

More and more have I realized today, that for most of us young people who aren’t such poor victims of circumstance (much like the circumstance of people with many liabilities), I feel that we must dream and pursue things of which we are most passionate. Only then are we being ourselves and only then can we contribute at our highest potential to the world and to the ones we love. Let me use the example of the professional athlete. Now, there is no doubt, professional athletes make amazing amounts of money…some of them make more than twenty million dollars a year. But if you look at each athlete on a case by case basis, you will find some athletes who make a lot of money doing what they love, and some athletes who have made a lot of money chasing a lifestyle. Those who have committed the latter tend to have had many personal issues, or didn’t have good careers, and didn’t contribute nearly as much as someone who was purely passionate about their sport. For professional athletes who make a lot of money doing what they truly love doing, well, that’s just a beautiful marriage of a dream meeting a highly desired lifestyle. But I will assure you, the players who are undoubtedly passionate about the sport would still feel their passion burn inside of them even if they got paid minimum wage…those players end up being the greats of the sport. There are cases everywhere and an obvious modern case of a truly passionate athlete is Brett Favre.

Why do I write this? Because I have definitely fallen into the trap of confusing what I should be most passionate about , the dream or the lifestyle. I definitely drive around my neighborhood and fantasize about what I am going to do in order to afford a house that is worth as much as that one around the corner. Now, I’m not quite saying that it is a fault to desire wealth. In fact, I have concluded that the acquisition of true wealth is a very smart desire to have but it shouldn’t drive nor leak into what I am most passionate about….and my passion should never be confused or blurred into the same train of thought as anything else. When my passion ever became crossed into my desired lifestyle, then I have only found results to be negative and just absolutely wrong. When we dream, when we love, and when we have an undying passion for what we love, then we know what it is that we need to pursue. As a result, we can truly exist in our most pure self.

I’m about to accuse something, and this is probably the first time I have accused anything when writing. But I do find that outside influence such as terrible music and media have a big impact on how we tend to lose a sense of ourselves and how we become confused. Very rarely do we see something on TV or hear things on our ipod that that encourages us to keep painting a picture within ourselves which will depict our passions. The media that accompanies us encourages such a broad mainstream filled with generic thoughts and ideals that is so strong that people are afraid to step out of it. I mean, even individuality is no exception to the bland holdings of mass media. Originality and personality now have a certain dialect, clothing, and way to walk. Its pathetic.

It is truly a shame when we lose ourselves and it not only hurts us, but it hurt those around us.

The life of a freelance musician is a life of hustle. You have to make opportunities for yourself and for every opportunity that comes us, you have to have a relentless mindset of taking advantage of it. Some gigs pay well, some gigs don’t pay well. It is my dream one day to play in a symphony orchestra. I can’t begin to explain how beautiful that would be.
But, whether being payed to play as a freelance musician or a more higher payed symphony musician, I doubt that the happiness felt on payday will be nearly as abundant as the happiness I have felt knowing that I do love music and I do love sports. I know this, I do it for a living, and nothing could make me happier than the joys I feel while I am on the job. Sometimes I lose myself…not by forgetting what I do…but I lose myself when I get off track. Then after that , its like a domino affect of other things that go wrong.

I have met many people who have put behind what it is that they are passionate about and thought that a certain lifestyle alone would make them happy. I'm so sad to see it, especially when they share such cases of regret. People will tell themselves that they love the lifestyle and in retrospect, realize that what they loved, they left behind.
Now, what I will not deny is the fact that people will sometimes become victim of circumstance and liability and the pressure to be able to function in a society. So yes, sometimes the man who dreamed of being a folk artist might have to go an be an engineer. Or maybe the street musician might have to get some hours at the local bookstore. I don't find that to be wrong. What bothers me is when people let themselves be sucked into what it is that merely employs them. Some feel the pressure of letting go of their passions due to competition and their perception as defined by others. That is when its a shame...when the core of you diffuses.

You must be true to what it is that you love. The moment that is swayed, then there is great danger on the horizon.

How Tro Train a Football Player (continued...)

2010-08-15T22:04:00.000-05:00

So, I'm back to where I left off as far as the training regimen of a football player (a defensive lineman to be exact). As a refresher, I chose defensive lineman in particular because of the amazing capabilities that a d-lineman must depend upon. Not only must they be big, they must also be strong, explosive, and just about as quick as anyone else on the field. The characteristic of the defensive lineman is truly a culmination of all positions into one.

Obviously, the most important thing for any athlete to do is be highly proficient in their skills and to bring a lot of heart and passion to what they are doing. In my efforts to illustrate my own views of training, I am exploring ways to expand the dimensions of an athlete away from the practice field in order for them to truly feel a sense of never ending development in their game.

When I last wrote on this particular subject, I parted after stating the essential elements of a defensive lineman. They include:

-possessing very strong core strength
-outstanding amounts of athletic explosion
-high amounts of strength and the balance of body
-light, and quick feet

And here is my proposed training regimen for these types of results. In just about any sport, your training will find you in many different venues and scenarios as you would fail to maximize your potential with just strictly staying on the field or court. In this case, I will divide the training between work in the weight room, work out on the field, and work with boxes and medicine balls.

First,

The Weight Room:

It is imperative that a defensive lineman possess super-human strength. Now this isn't achieved by simply lifting a routine 10-12 reps, breaking a little sweat and going home feeling like you've worked out. Strength building, muscle stacking workouts should make you leave the work out feeling like you've just repeatedly run into a brick wall. Trauma is how it should be summed up.
The typical semi-heavy lifting routine does have it's benefits however but that is more towards the off-season. For the sake of this blog, I would like to focus more on the preparation phases through mid-late season.
The lifting should be heavy, and it should require a good grunt and some serious sweat. Your muscles, your body, your mind must get acclimated to the fact that you need to have the capability of running through a wall. What lifts? Big, compound lifts! Not some light weight biceps work that some whimp at the gym is doing trying to look good for the ladies. We're talking about big barbells stacked with plates of weight! '

Bench Press: multiple sets of no more than 4-6 reps.

Squats: stack the weight, the bar should bend around your back

Power cleans: the weight room's best choice for working on explosion

Barbell rows: build a huge back

Deadlifts: build huge hamstrings...ones that will help you blow through your opponent

That can pretty much be it. Of course, there are more lifts that might benefit you but these are the lifts that must take a very high priority.

next is,

Field Work

So now you have a body that is extremely strong...assuming you did some real work with the weights and didn't lift like a little wiener. But with great strength comes great responsibility to be able to translate your newly found power into your athletic movements. Building a lot of strength doesn't mean that you will have automatic gains in your athleticism...the two can be very closely correlated but it cannot be assumed. More muscle, more weight, and in some cases, worsened flexibility can really bog you down. Time to go out the the field and reconnect your brain to your body.

Sprints: focus on light yet powerful strides. really work on the ability to move your body and jolt into high speeds.

Shuttle Drill: a drill that helps your lateral quickness. You're heavier now, your brain might tell you that you are heavier but you've got to clench your fist and accept no excuses...you must be lightning quick...go!

Leap Frogs: a great heart bursting exercise that helps you strengthen and quicken your horizontal leaping ability. More leaping ability means more power. More power means you will be doin the hurting instead of the opponent.

Plyometrics: again, your body is more bulky. Retrain your twitch fibers and leaping muscles to handle more weight and more usage of power

and lastly,

Box Jumps and Medicine Ball Work

Box Jumps: doing this increase your vertical leap. Working on your vertical leap is an undoubted way of improving your athletic ability

Medicine ball work outs (various): do these to truly strengthen the core and develop muscles to help operate your body in the most optimal manner. Doing a million crunches may be good for the next star of the Twilight Saga but it shouldn't be of prime importance to an elite athlete. Being able to be strong and sturdy is the priority in the core muscle chain.

there you go.

next up? How to train a volleyball player

until then,

James

The Beauties of this Life Shall Guide Us

2010-08-10T01:24:00.000-05:00

With billions of people on this Earth it is easy to embrace our uniqueness but it is too often that we overlook a deep common feature which is the human experience. No one is a stranger to joy, happiness, and growth. The same is true with sadness, heart break, and coping at the expense of unexplainable pain.

What should comfort us is the fact that a whole human race can identify with you no matter what and that nature never stops it's course. What dies will go away but when there is death there can assuredly be life. New roads, new beginnings, new people, new approaches, new everything. The hard part is letting things die and take their course but only then will new beginnings be true and possible.

What should comfort us is knowing that you have brothers and sisters in this life that span back thousands of years and for many years to come that will share your world with you.

We are all a part of experiencing life and the nature of this vitality (and how true we remain to it) is what shall give us peace.

Thank you God.

Below: You know when our existence can be wrapped up in nature when witnessing a miracle such as what Debussy wrote. Please listen, with your heart open, feeling the presence of something beautiful.

The Training of a Football Player

2010-08-03T00:41:00.000-05:00

The next installment of me acting I like I know what I'm talking about is my thoughts on how to train a football player...and to be more specific, a defensive lineman. I chose this particular position as I have become continually impressed by people such as Mario Williams and Jared Allen who are athletic freaks of nature for more than a few reasons:

-Usually an NFL defensive lineman is between 6'2''-6'7'' and weighs somewhere in the ball park of 250-310 lbs (depending on which part of the line you are on). Usually taller and lighter as you head to the ends of the line and thicker and heavier as you look inward.

-These men are big but they are put on defense due the fact that they have fast reflexes and footwork to be able to limit reaction time to the movements of the offense.

-The men are STRONG. They have to push offensive lineman around who usually weigh in between 300-315 lbs at the pro level.

So, how do we go about turning an athlete into an optimal defensive lineman?

Well, one obvious thing is to teach them the skills of the game, that is a given. But what can we do to augment these skills and make the happen in a more explosive and powerful manner?

There is no shortage of big people and strong people who play football. What is the edge? What is the best player going to do in order to set himself a part?

Have a Strong Core
For any type of athletic movement, you can pretty much count on the need for a very strong core. Defensive lineman hardly ever have ripped six pack abs but having a strong core doesnt just mean sculpted abs...sculpted abs just means you have low body fat thats about all. Defensive lineman need to have the ability to contort their bodies, make sudden explosive movements, swing their arms to bat away offensive lineman...etc. Having a strong core will enhance these needs and will promote the use of more force and muscle.

Be Extremely Explosive
The action starts when the ball is hiked and you must be able to register that and shoot your 250 plus pound body towards the offense as fast as you can. Not only must you have lightning reflexes and lateral dynamics, you must also possess a very strong vertical leaping ability that will translate to more power from the legs when creating contact.

Be Extremely Strong and Balanced
You can't go out there and just have a good looking torso. We're playing sports here, not modeling for the cover of some teen magazine. Yes, you must have huge arms that will devastate your opposition but you will only be half as effective if your lower body doesn't posses a tree trunk like character. Your legs are your base and you need to have two pillars driving your body forward. You need to be skilled at squats as well as the bench and the musculature should be a result of heavy lifting and thrusting...not countless reps while staring at yourself in the mirror.

Posses Quick and Light Feet
Yeah, you're big...but your gift is to be able to be as quick as a guy half of your size.

the training plan coming soon...

How to train a...

2010-07-25T15:40:00.000-05:00

So, let me indulge in some more outward thinking via blogger.com

I doubt anyone will benefit from this silly little rant (s) but I will post a series of ideas on how to train athletes from various sports based on the little knowledge I have gained over my years in training to be an athlete and researching as well as learning from others. Let's call these writings an exercise, if you will. I want to explore the non-sport specific aspects of training in each discipline that will translate to the field or course.

I hope to cover:
-how to train a football player
-how to train a volleyball player
-how to train a baseball player
-how to train a basketball player
-how to train a rowing athlete

Today's blabber : How To Train a Soccer Player

First, I believe it is of prime importance that a soccer athlete not only contain exceptional speed, but also very quick foot speed as opposed to sheer ability to cover ground (especially avoiding a long striding type of athlete). Also, it is obvious that a soccer athlete must contain a very high level of cardiovascular health.
One thing I would like to add to that is the aspect of strength training that I am lead to believe is of a minor priority (based on the winky dinky physique of a typical soccer player).
If one were to combine a strong/explosive dynamic with quickness and endurance, then you'd have a soccer player of the new era. I mean, imagine two guys fighting for the ball with equal skill and quickness, but one of the guys is heavier, stronger, and wider...who's gonna get the ball? You do see these types of athletes in American football because it is part of the culture...not so much in soccer. But it is possible.

Of course, there lies a dilemma with adding muscle....more body mass, more effort for the heart, quicker rates of fatigue. That is nature. However, s closely monitored regimen of both cardiovascular training to correlate with rates of muscle growth could help over come that hurdle...just takes some more sweat.

Soccer players have amazing speed and quickness but need to possess the ability to run through a brick wall. There will be a new era of amazing athletes who will be able to do this and the skinny, frail framed athlete will stand no chance.

The Training-
I believe that majority of the weight training should involve light weights with fast/explosive repetitions. This will ensure the promotion of strength training coupled with maintaining the essential aspect of speed and mobility. The training should augment the essentials of the sports as opposed to inhibit them. So the result isn't a bug, muscle bound athlete. Rather, the result will be a lean player with muscles to exhibit his/her domination over you!

Power Cleans: Light yet explosive work with this popular olympic lift will provide amazing dividends for a soccer athlete. This will improve leg strength that will lead to more powerful running strides and faster rates of vertical leap to rech the head ball quicker than anyone else. Additionally, the full body exertion of this lift strengthens the athletes capacity for impact and explosive power. For the nature of soccer as a sport, the athletes should train with light weights and work on achieving very vicious rates of movement and execution.

Squats: With this amazing lift, the body is known to generate a lot of testosterone which is always good for building more muscle and explosive power. The isolation of the hamstrings and the butt will help the athletes gain much strength in their sprinting and leaping abilities. Also, when performed with light weights and fast repetitions, much benefit will go to the development of the performance of twitch fibers which help our bodies identify with explosive movement.

Bench Press: Light weights and fast twitch like repetitions will help the athlete get in touch with the explosiveness of his upper body. People say soccer is a sport that is not about the upper body but that is a lie...the upper when developed can serve as an amazing helper to your running and jumping abilities.

Pull ups/chin ups: For the same reason as the bench press. essential to balance out the strength of the upper body. The pull ups strengthen the lats muscles which are essential for muscle coiling involved with leaping and string movements.

leap frogs : this non-weight drill helps the player maximize his/her ability to cover ground and create strong and explosive athletic movements.

sprints: true, soccer is an endurance sport but training of the sprints will help the athlete gain an advantage in athletic plays such as chasing a ball down or covering a defender. An athlete who runs around all day isnt necessarily developing cat like reflexes which are essential in sports.

shuttle drill" this movement helps develop quick lateral quickness

side slides: kills the quads and hips and helps the athlete with more lateral quickness.

A soccer player of the new era:
quick
great endurance
great strength
great explosion
no wussi business.

more to follow....

3 year old Jonathan conducting to the 4th movement of Beethoven's 5th Sy...

2010-07-19T23:22:00.000-05:00

Reason for us to always remember to tap into our childhood dreams and imaginations.
I can't begin to explain how beautiful this is.

So waking up in the morning, blaring Beethoven, and pretending to be a conductor in nothing but my underwear is not so crazy after all!

This is the most amazing thing I have seen in a very long time!

The Freaks of Nature

2010-07-07T17:14:00.000-05:00

Lebron James

and

Mario Williams.

why?

Lebron, 6'8'', 250 lbs, outworldy abilities in the horiontal and vertical leaping abilities matched by no one.
Strong and becomes stronger as his pace quickens. Can sprint across the court in a blink of the eye and has lateral quickness that a football cornerback can be jealous of. Can get into sprint strides within one step and when his mind is on something...nothing will stop it.

Mario, 6'7'', 290 lbs, possess the speed of one 50 lbs lighter than him and boasts a 40 inch vertical. Heavy in weight yet low in body fat. Basically a walking stack of bricks. Has the strength of 10 average men put together. Say you have some one who is fast, quick, strong...well Mario is all of that AND hes bigger than you...

im going to the gym....

Humble

2010-06-11T11:42:00.000-05:00

"I realize that I am blessed to have had the opportunities which I have had. Though I couldn’t have had these opportunities without working hard, working hard isn’t the reason that I have had these chances. Neither is having my supportive and nurturing family, friends, and circle of acquaintances, though they have meant a great deal to me throughout my life. There are many musicians who work very hard, and there are many with a great deal of talent, for whom a career in music has not materialized. I realize that the experiences I have had, both professionally and personally, are Gifts for which I cannot take credit. When I look at music as one of the Gifts that it is, I appreciate it joyfully, practice out of joy, perform out of joy—out of joy for the Gifts my Father has given me. And ultimately, regardless of your religious beliefs, it is difficult to imagine the Gift of being an orchestral musician as anything but. "

-James Markey, New York Philharmonic

Reading this passage coincides with some things I have been thinking about recently.
Music truly is a gift and we can only enjoy it in its pure state when we realize this.
So much peace has entered into my heart because of this realization and I've never felt it easier to be motivated and to work harder since thinking about this. I have come to these realizations before but I have a feeling I will be having to remind myself of this very often as I am doing now!

Oh my again

2010-06-02T02:20:00.001-05:00

possessed by music is this man

Music Flowing out of His Fingers

2010-06-02T02:13:00.000-05:00

Oh my....

The Perfect Discus Thrower

2010-05-25T18:15:00.001-05:00

Well, at least in my personal, 25 year old perspective!

I suppose writing my thoughts and sharing my ideas outwardly helps me further ingest what I am thinking and to explain my thoughts to a reader will help me make my ideas more clear.

When I propose to write about my idea of the perfect discus thrower, I am not suggesting that anyone who fits my ideal mold will be the best thrower in the world. Rather, I am trying to portray a situation in which a thrower is able to compete at a highly efficient state of their physique and ability as applied to the throws.

First I must attack the notion that throwers need to be just merely "big". Yes, size CAN be a very positive attribute but only in rare instances when someone is perfectly neurologically connected to their bodies and are able to have a firm grasp of the bio-mechanics of the throwing motion...a situation in which I am positive a vast majority of young "big" throwers do not experience. Conversely, it is no surprise to me that smaller throwers (at least in the early stages of their career), enjoy more success than larger athletes (ex. NCAA discus record holder Hannes Hopley is only 6' ). I attribute this trend to the advantage of smaller athletes being able to utilize more body control and awareness at an earlier age. Bigger guys tend to have to develop that part of their athleticism with much effort. It is rare to find otherwise. Some big guys are blessed with the capabilities of a smaller athlete...but again, it is rare.
So in the world of discus, yes, size may matter. BUT if you ignore the obvious variables of a highly varied athletic motion then size alone will be inhibiting. Size is a variable that is equal to many other variables involved in throwing the discus.

So, what variables are there and how can they all come together to create the optimal thrower?

Now that I have attempted to portray my stance on the role of size, I will now endorse the variable of size as an equal variable to the ones that will follow. Height leads to more length which inevitably leads to the advantage of long throwing levers. But length alone will not help you throw the discus far. With length you are prone to the possibility of lower rates of velocity and slower orbital motion. So how will the perfect discus thrower combat this?

Speed, strength, agility, and an undeniably high level of physical fitness.

I've seen so many throwers who are just merely big and their size and lack of physical ability are too low and therefore their size is now a very detrimental attribute as their throwing velocities and balance have suffered a great deal. Just as in any sport it is size, speed, and strength that are important and must all exist within one athlete!

An informed thrower will realize the importance of achieving optimal body balance before they pursue "event-specific training" during the season. The off-season should be spent perfecting the ratios of strength throughout the body. Legs should be much stronger than the upper body. The back muscles must be in par to the chest muscles. The abdominal muscles must be highly trained. The arms muscles (which will almost be insignificant in a highly effective discus technique) must also be well developed for the sake of achieving balance. Balance is key in all aspects of life. The world we live in depends on balance. Human beings operate properly when balance is restored. What goes up must come down, hot/cold, happy/sad, breath in/breath out. To be highly developed athletes, our training must follow the order of nature.

What result is there if we do not? An inefficient use of your body.

What may result out of inefficiencies? Injuries and results that are well below an athlete's potential.

Many knee problems occur from imbalances of legs muscles, for example. Also, our bodies are made with many different muscle groups that all exist to compliment each other. To ignore the ultimate function of our bodies for an extended amount of time would serve as a pure detriment to peak performance.

The perfect discus thrower will work on both their lateral speed and their sprinting speed. Also much emphasis must be on the development of a high vertical leap to enhance explosion and also a very strong horizontal leap for the same purpose.

Much emphasis must be put on the squat exercise, dead lift, power cleans, and additional auxiliary leg work outs. The athlete must work on being strong at lit involving both legs and one leg as well.

Next, an informed thrower will realize that their core strength must reach abnormal levels of fitness.
Strength is important and is on equal importance as flexibility in the core. The thrower must be able to create as much torque as possible (also known as separation between the upper body and lower body through a "twisting" motion) and release their torque at very high levels of strength and explosion.
The core must be strong, flexible, and also be in balance to the size of the upper torso. If the mid-section of an athlete is too big in relation to the torso, then the twisting motions needed in the throws technique will be inhibited from reaching optimal function.

A great discus thrower will also have a very strong set of pecs that are crucial in finishing the whipping motion that is created in the technique. Legs are the most important genesis of power in the throw but the pecs and upper body muscles are what help you get an amazing finish to the throw. So despite legs being the most important, it is imperative that a thrower realizes that less important muscle groups will need attention as well. There must be balance. Same with the size argument. Being just "big" means nothing if the other variables of the throw are not present.

And lastly, a great discus thrower will have passion in their pursuit for farther throws. Passion alone sometimes makes up for blaring inadequacies with throwers.
Coach Dave Wollman of SMU put it beautifully when he said, " I am a firm believer in the human spirit. I believe we haven't even scratched the surface of what we are capable of as humans".

All of what I explain above doesn't necessarily describe someone who will throw the world record one day. I am merely pointing out the factors that go into helping someone reach a level at which they are most efficient. In fact, the pursuit of perfection in throws is the beauty of the sport...and it is something we will never achieve. The happiness of the discus throw can only come from the joy of enjoying such a beautiful sport. Distances only measure our progress but never help us achieve an end. The end does not exist. What is forever present for those who love to throw is the aspect of the spirit and passion measured by how far you can throw a metal plate. it's a beautiful thing.

An Idea

2010-05-20T01:44:00.000-05:00

So, it will take a lot of money but I think I will save up for a once-a-year trombone/musical pilgrimage to happen every winter! I crunched some numbers together, and indeed, it will be expensive but I should be able to handle it if I save properly! There are some cities in this country (other than Houston, of course!) that have a high concentration of young, energetic, and prime time players!

The pilgrimage will include lessons with 3-4 players of that city and hopefully I can attend a concert by the local symphony. Luckily, I have friends in all of these cities and that will off set my housing costs (hoping that they are nice enough to let me crash)!

This winter I have decided that I should go to Washington DC. I have made a similar pilgrimage to the city of Atlanta and I think I will do that again for the winter of 2011. DC contains a very high concentration of fantastic players as there are a complete handful of extremely high quality ensembles there such as the Navy, Marine, Army, Air Force bands as well as the National Symphony, Baltimore Symphony, and Virginia Symphony, Kennedy Center/National Opera.

So some other cities I hope to go to for the same purpose are Atlanta, NYC, San Fransisco, Boston, and Los Angeles.

wow, this would be cool to do once a year..

Update + Things to Come

2010-05-18T01:39:00.000-05:00

Well, the guy who showed me his house doesn't quite know it yet, but I have just written out a check for my first month's rent at a pretty cool house in the Heights. I'll drop it off tomorrow and then he will have a new room mate! The house definitely has that "modern/boxy" architecture that can weird me out sometimes but it's a deal well worth it. I must admit, I have never met the guy before today but he seemed like a good guy who enjoys working out as much as I do so that's nice. There is a huge 50" TV in the living room that I imagine will come in handy during the Texans and Rockets seasons.
I will move in on the first of June but...
I have an audition for the Milwaukee Symphony on June 7th. If that pans out well...looks like I'll be giving him a notice of a move-out! but I told him, at best, for even a top-notch talent, your odds of winning are rather low!

Which brings me to a thought...and that is the realization of exactly how insanely difficult it is to win an audition for an American symphony orchestra! I mean, being the best player is NOT what gets you in. There are at least a dozen factors that go into the choosing of a winner. It's not like you walk in with your resume, smile, and hope that your good looks can subconsciously trigger your potential employers urges to hire you! In the orchestral world, you are behind a screen and the only thing that matters is what comes out of your horn! In 2008, I made a run at trying to qualify for the olympic trials....which is something I actually accomplished. I then gained an appreciation of exactly how hard it is to actually make the Olympics...it is very difficult. But i'd imagine it is not nearly as difficult as being in a HIGHLY select group of individuals who have won auditions for major symphony orchestras. Skill and experience do count for a big deal but like I said before, there are at least a dozen more random ever-changing factors that lead to the choosing of one, unique candidate. With all that being said, I will do it one day...God keep me healthy!

Thaddeus, our new dog, has been quite a handful! I came home one day and my mom brought home a random puppy about 5 weeks old. I have no idea what it is but the vet said it will probably be no bigger than about 10 lbs...very small. I took Thaddeus to the Spring Woods clinic. The clinic is located right next to the high school that I attended and has been there my whole entire life. To me there was no dispute over where I was going...I had no doubt that I would go to the neighborhood gem. Thaddeus' play biting has gotten pretty darn strong so I'll have to get it to stop doing that!

My brother has been going crazy lately and it puts so much weight on everyone in the family...and it has for as long as he has been sick. But with all of the extreme heart-ache and all of the terrors that have crippled my mind, I am so glad that I have been able to be exposed to him and to deal with his ailments as my own. My brother really does help me gain a certain perspective that I am very thankful for. If it weren't for him, I truly would not be the same person.

-James

Welcome Thaddeus

2010-05-13T01:10:00.000-05:00

We have a new member of the family...a little puppy now named Thaddeus!

The Best Meal

2010-05-06T00:32:00.000-05:00

I originally wrote this about a year ago and I find my own thoughts from the past to be particularly helpful again for me now. No matter what happens, true happiness is still possible.

Here it is, re-posted:

5/16/2009

The Best Meal

I don’t have a lot of money. I barely am able to pay my bills. My apartment, whose anti-luxury I can barely afford, looks like a dungeon of doom. I still owe my university some money. I still owe my bank some money. My body aches. My brain is tired.

My career is getting started but is not quite what I want just yet. My ambitions are high and will only get higher as I achieve them. My mind dreams forever…too much for anyone to ever gain any type of contentment.

But somehow…today…happiness has never seemed so clear to me like it has just now.

After a week of intense training and bodily torture I stumble into a Chipotle after a nice long hot shower. My body is cooled, clean, and fresh. Before I eat my one of must be hundreds of burrito bowls filled with all the ingredients to my liking I remember two things:

First, The homeless guy I passed on the walk from my car to the door of the restaurant.

And second, a picture that my dad put on our wall as I was growing up of a man with his hands folded praying as a piece of bread lay in front of him.

It was then, all the sudden, an overwhelming sense of thankfulness nearly paralyzed me.

I wanted to cry.

I must admit that I have felt these sensations before but now I am determined to remember them by writing. Maybe this time I can look back and remember all the emotions I felt.

Being a second generation child who knows only comfort provided by hard-working parents I never knew how profound my dad’s favorite painting could be. Yes, on the surface it was about a man being thankful for his supper. Who the man is or what the man does is completely beyond me. But for my dad, it was a man thanking his God for his life. His life…his life. What is in front of him guarantees not the future, or prosperity, or success…it only reminds him of living and being in a true sense of thanksgiving off just a loaf of bread…but that is more than enough to be inspired by. He may be rich, he may be poor, he may be happy, he may be sad…there’s just no way of telling. But the idea that anyone can be thankful and humble for just a piece of bread is what makes it so beautiful. It means a lot to my dad considering the hardships of immigration, language barriers, economic instabilities, fear, and anxiety.

The homeless guy who no matter how bad of a day I (a “suffering” human being ) have would love to spend time in my shoes.

So before I ate, I prayed. I had to…the humility at the time was over bearing.
I’m not sure to what or whom I prayed but I prayed. Not out of service or ritual but out of the pure gravity of my emotions. With every exhale of my breath my eyes watered. I closed my eyes and said,
“Thank you for this food. Thank you for my life. Thank you for letting me pursue what I truly love. Thank you for everything”.
Maybe it was the fact that I was just so truly exhausted. That nourishing my body was so important at that point and the fact that I could do so at will is what made me so thankful.

And then I began to ponder. What is making me so happy right now? Despite everything in my life that no one would be willing to take on aside from their own hardship. Why do I feel this happiness? At least for now…why am I this happy. Why couldn’t my happiness wait for after I win a job in a symphony orchestra? Or after I make the Olympics? Or after an NFL team decides to sign me to a contract? Or after my brother sheds off his mental illnesses? Or after my family is able to not worry about being poor? Or after I get a car that doesn’t rattle in the back for whatever reason (damn)?

Then it came to me. Thoughts that we’ve (you and I) had all the time. Thoughts we never seem to put together. Thoughts we never quite commit to. Well, here’s my shot.

Happiness is impossible to attain.

Maybe in the future I can make enough money to provide for myself and for everyone that I love (a deed above everything else that I’ve always aspired to do…something I thought would make me happy).
But even that won’t make me happy.

Once I achieve that, my thoughts will be “well, there’s more to do”. It’s human nature. Its what helps us better ourselves. Its how we advance, its how we survive, it’s how we work. When Mahler wrote his second symphony saying that “ I have put all of myself into this work” do you think that it was the truth? Why did 8 ½ more symphonies poor out of his creative life? There is always something more. There is never a moment of complete arrival. This is why artists never stop their craft, why musicians play and learn constantly, why philosophers never seem to come to their absolute decision, why scientists only know a chip of reality, why we will never live a day when we can’t learn.

This is why humans cannot “attain” happiness.

Happiness is a state of mind. Though we may attain objectives, the only role of our successes is to feed into what we hope will contribute to our state of mind. That is why we cannot depend on our success to give us happiness. Happiness is a much more personal, introverted affair. Happiness is universal and can reach anyone no matter their circumstance. A poor mother who sees their child walk for the first time will be just as happy as a rich mother with her child. Thankfulness lately has helped me attain happiness these last few moments. I feel that it can stick.

Thankful for what? I’m thankful for many things just as much as anyone else can be. Even a wheel chair -bound person can be thankful for so much. I can bet that many handicapped people are thankful for so much more and have a greater grasp of happiness than people who march up and down schools, buildings, and streets who claim to be in the pursuit of something that they are ironically ignoring…happiness.
Why are such high-end jobs leading to stress and amazing amounts of suicide. I would say that the leading cause of that (aside from high-stress occupational demands) is that people forget that the sun comes out, people are alive, and that beauty is there for us every day…not something we have to struggle to see.

Whether you are a spiritual person or not, it really doesn’t matter. I really do hope that every once in a while, no matter what is happening in your life…no matter what…., that you can take a few moments and just meditate on how beautiful it all really is. All of it. Our country is always in war, our economy sucks, relationships are hard, your family may not be what it should be, your school work is giving you hell, no matter how hard you work at something progress seems to escape you…whatever else you can think of. Happiness is dependent on none of those. Not even those you love.

But where are you now? What has gotten you there? Who have you met that has been a special blessing to you? How easy is it for you to pursue your passions? What makes you happy? Can anyone take that from you?

You’re alive. The day is yours.

The fact that I have this happiness today (and hopefully forever) stems from the fact that nothing or no one can ever make me or you happy. Our happiness as related to objects or people occurs when we truly make a personal decision that the two are related. It is up to us to be happy and not what we achieve or who we meet. The role of objects and people are important but their impact to happiness is far less than your own genuine perception.
For instance, this beer that I am drinking. The fact that I am drinking this beer now makes me happy. Beer does not make me happy. I can do without beer. (and we should be able to do without anything or anyone) Having worked really hard this week, it feels nice to drink a beer on occasion. Now if I were to equate beer with happiness, I would be binge drinking every night…but what happiness is there to that…there is only alcoholism.

Jim Markey of the New York Philharmonic so beautifully stated that , “when you place all of the value of your existence in getting a job (success, or someone, or something) then you will be consumed by failure“. There are people who work hard to get on top. But when they get to the top…what’s next…why am I wanting more when I thought this would make me ultimately happy? Others will work harder than ever because of a gift that they are thankful for. When they get to the top, well, they don’t care…they pursue at the same rate because what they are doing makes them happy.

Nothing can give us happiness. Or no one. What do I mean when I say no one can make you happy? The idea of “having” someone will not lead to happiness. The need to have someone or the dependency. Never should our happiness be dependent. How people make us happy is when we come to love who they are and how what they are aligns with what makes us happy. Again, someone else cannot literally give us happiness. It depends on whether that friend, wife, husband, girlfriend, boyfriend, partner, …etc provides us with much more than just possession. Simple concept, bad rambling of an explanation.

Where there is status, achievement, or possession there will always be the need for more. Neither of the three are bad but happiness does not result from them…it results from us. Lets be thankful…everyone can do it. Let’s pursue, lets work hard, lets have an undying passion for what we hope to achieve…but let’s be thankful!

Awesome

2010-05-01T15:44:00.000-05:00

Alarm woke me up today, saw that it was sunny outside, felt that it was hot, so I put my shorts on, found a good athletic shirt to wear, stepped out the door, and went to work outside coaching. That is how I love to start the day. Gym cloths, lace up some athletic shoes, and get ready to bake in the sun while coaching and working out. Good on the job attire, great work.

I love my work

-J

The "Little thought to follow"...

2010-04-25T11:24:00.000-05:00

Girls (and guys, too I guess), you need to see through a lot of the act that guys put on to gain your favor. Yes, there are some very pure souls out there but there are also a lot of guys out there that are studying the art of confusing you, throwing you off, and manipulating you for the sake of dating you or potentially something else. This is a practice that is gaining a lot of attention in the modern dating world.

Lately I have been going out a lot only to see the same situation every time...a big stage of charades.

I guess I am being anti-guy for sharing these thoughts but I just hate seeing relationships and connection build off of something that is an absolute game.

Be aware, and don't go for bullsh!t. Go for what is genuine and I've got a feeling that everyone can sense the presence of genuine.

Just look out for yourself and be aware...even if having some guy play a game on you is very amusing and fascinating,maybe even flattering, still, be aware. Equip yourself with perspective.

ok enough of this.

Unbelievable Blessings...and a little thought to follow.

2010-04-21T15:34:00.000-05:00

Last night I was privileged to attend a mini-recital and masterclass by Mr. Ronald Barron, retired principal trombonist of the Boston Symphony Orchestra. I'm not sure quite sure where to start about my experience but to sum it all up I came away from it with a deep sense of appreciation.

The evening began with Mr. Barron playing two pieces. In this modern age of rigid idealism in trombone playing, Barron played with a fine touch to beautiful music making. With the guidance of a few fine teachers in the Houston area (Bob Walp and Thomas Hulten in terms of this subject), I have realized that my own personal playing and overall outlook to music has turned greatly academic and "proper". In comes Ronald Barron, and though his performance was far from being "perfectly impressive" I could not stop smiling while he was playing and I was in awe of how relentless his efforts of making music were. I had to breath in deeply and exhale because I almost felt like every phrase he played lifted off layers of baggage I had built over the years. No he didn't always have the ideal sound or articulation (according to some) but it isn't about what is ideal...even if it is totally wrong.

Musicians inspire audiences with strong, heartfelt art.

This is something I tend to forget...and I've always been someone who was considered to be a more "musically inclined" person from peers and colleagues.

At the end of the masterclass, Mr. Barron answered our questions and hearing him speak about his time in Boston and everything he went through...the journey he took was truly the journey of an artist. He spoke on some compelling topics on conductors, soloists, and how to reach audiences and generation with music...after all he said you got the sense that music wasnt only his career...music was something that came in and out of his body like wind...it was truly a part of his life.

After a class like this with such an interesting man, I could only imagine how wonderful his experiences might have been over forty years. I hope that when I play in an orchestra, I can always realize that it is an unbelievable blessing.

As I was compiling my music for the upcoming audition I am taking masterpieces were blaring in my head as I flipped through each page. Mahler's 3rd and 5th, Schubert's 7th, Tannhauser...etc.
I can remember hearing these and falling in love with them every time I hear them and to be on stage to play them...I'm afraid I might cry out of pure ....whatever it is that is beyond ecstasy.

"a little thought to follow"... I will have to get to this later as it is about time for a short nap followed by a serious work out!

-James

The Power of Music

2010-04-15T01:55:00.000-05:00

It's amazing how beautiful music can be...it can shake the tears out of you in a split second. And when someone plays it, or sings it, and it flows out of them so effortlessly...so naturally...that is a person who has it right. That is someone who is in a very beautiful state of themselves.

It's such a shame that music for many musicians has become an execution of skills rather than a celebration. I mean, if you go to a church and you watch them praise, whether or not you believe in their God, you will know that music to these people isn't something that they are merely "capable of". Music to these people has to come out of them whether they like it or not and they sing because music is beautiful. They sing, not caring what comes out, but rather only knowing why they sing. And i've noticed people with deep church backgrounds (such as southern baptist churches, cheezy praise band churches...etc) who end up in the performing world tend to have a special quality to their playing. Whether God has blessed them with that or not is unknown but their sincere experiences with shouting love through music is known.

The Dual Life

2010-04-05T10:05:00.000-05:00

So today is 8 weeks from my Milwaukee Symphony audition. I feel like this is the readiest I've ever been before embarking upon preparations for an audition...if this makes any sense to you.
During this period, I will try my hardest to remember a few things...

a) Despite a highly pressurized atmosphere and rigorous preparation, it is still music after all.
b) It's not me vs. the 70 or 80 people or so for one spot...for most of the audition, it is me vs. me.
c) I do have what it takes to be a world-class musician. I have hints of it now...how is that for modesty?
and
d) I'm not a little twerpy trombone kid so that always keeps me from getting too nervous. Its amazing how many little dweebs you see at these auditions...dude, go drink you a cold one.

It's just music...enjoyment is the up most priority. VERY HARD work is necessary for me but I can do it. I can't guarantee a win, I can't foretell the future and say that I will have gotten everything in order both physically and mentally...but I can have a perspective that will hopefully lead to the aforementioned results.

Also...
Im currently sitting at 285 lbs after spending much of 2009 around the 265 lbs mark. Although I like the heavier weights, I'm afraid that it has taken a toll on my knees. I don't plan to lose a lot of weight but rather, lose only about 5 pounds and to focus balancing my body out to ultimately turn myself into a bigger person all around...this should help me with any bodily stresses. Something about being a muscular 280lbs seems really ....well....badass to me. At 265 I was just a bit too dainty for my taste. Being 280 dense in muscle will be quite a task, however.

I've also been toying with the idea of throwing again next season. I've been coaching the past few years, and though my throwing isn't quite in shape, every once in a while I'll flin that discus out there and feel like an absolute new man. My perspective has changed, my life is different, my throwing intellect is better...why not I say. One thing is certain, if I do decide to throw again, I will devote myself to being absolutely stronger as I did not in the past. In the past, I was just strong...compared to other little dweebs. Bench was about 370, squat was about 550. Yes, the technique is of paramount importance, but being strong as all hell does not hurt. Id like to get the bench up to about 430 and the squat to about 630. Also, I've realized the absolute importance of the core in the throwing motion. Id make sure that is in order as well.
Many people get the wrong idea that throwers should be merely big...that is foolish. Unfortunately, you see a lot of throwers who totally disregard their bodies and as a result their throwing is well...terrible. The ideal thrower will have size but not at the expense of not being graceful, quick, and dynamic.

later,
James

Breeeeath In... Breeeeath Out

2010-03-30T21:47:00.000-05:00

Wow, it has been such a long time since I've written in this thing. I always make a periodic post stating that I should write more often and then wait until years later to write again. Well, I should write more often...

It's amazing how life can be illustrated by the analogy of a book. Obviously, every chapter brings something new but some things are carried through over to the next few chapters...others not. Some things may linger, providing a solid sense of plot and scenery and then all the sudden those things can stop and only exist in the past. But, for me, two things will be certain... there will always be the next chapter, and by the wonderful grace of God, there will always be music.

-James

such a shame...isn't it?

2008-04-07T01:26:00.000-05:00

It's always a refreshing experience when one looks back at the steps they have taken be it recent or not so recent. However, in my case, "refreshment" is not showing its face in the familiar form of contentment. The only "refreshment" I have experienced recently is shame...not necessarily shame of myself but shame in circumstance and nature.

Looking back on collegiate life I can remember a young freshman strait out of high school with a sponge of a mind. Everything was fascinating. The beauty of things...the nature of things...the purpose of things. Everything was worthy of debate as well. I do not really think these curiosities ever truly leave anyone at any point in time but they do certainly diminish (or augment) at certain stages of life. It's upsetting to me now to notice how my existence has ridden tides that don't sustain themselves.

For one, I'm definitely writing less... something I hoped years ago would never leave me. Although "blogging" is unfortunately misconstrued as some adolescent venue of ranting I have found the up most fulfillment with it. Looking back at when I was writing often, I do remember how my intellectual pursuits were stronger and frequent. I can't say the same about myself now...such a shame...a tragedy, truly.

As humans we must always, always, always strive for understanding of anything. We must be fascinated, we must be intrigued...by....life...vibrancy...existence. We can do this by thought, by sharing constantly, writing through any vehicle available (blogging for me, I suppose). It's an absolute shame that we stray away from a constant effort to exercise our most divine capabilities...the capability to truly be a human being, the capability of learning, teaching...sharing. That's what it is to be living...its such a shame how we (me!) can be so caught up with things that will deter our focus from truly living!

I feel as if though I have lost a certain fire. I feel as though I have forgotten that there is a world around me outside of what I think I may have figured out. There was a time that my energies were focused upwards... towards that abstract beauty...making sense of as best as humanly possible. Now my energies focus horizontally...to what is infront of me...my ambition...my career paths...is it perfectly normal of me to get caught up within routine...or what I may consider as "life"? Yes, its normal but it isn't right.
I wake up every morning thinking about how to throw farther and how to be a better trombonist. I enter sleep with the same intent and the next day is a carbon copy of the previous day. Yes, I do believe success does result from obsession...but this "success"...what is it? Why should it be idolized? The only thing we should idolize is our roles as human beings...and sadly, this is where I feel I have strayed from.

I do hope to rekindle old sparks that still linger. I'm not too busy nor will I ever be. God, please help me.

More Life

2008-02-26T01:48:00.000-06:00

Well things have been busy, yes. But i'm busy doing what I love doing...which is practicing, training, going to rehearsals, and teaching (both musically and athletically).
Aside from playing in the orchestra at UH I am now in the Jazz Orchestra which I am enjoying for the most part. I haven't played in a jazz ensemble since my freshman year of college at SMU. I did truly miss it and I'm glad director Noe Marmolejo has let me sit in with the band. Some of the fellow jazz musicians in the band are very talented and it is a privilege of mine to observe them.

I have also begun teaching more students at my alma mater Spring Woods High School. This new experience has definitely become a very fulfilling one. In fact, it is so inspiring that I think I'll write a reflection about it later on in the very near future.

Training has been going well up until now. Although I have been officially training in an "off-season" manner since last August I didn't truly begin a season preparing regimen until January. And since January I have gotten stronger, faster, slightly leaner, and become a better thrower. However, I have for the past week been dealing with an injury which could not come at a worse time. I'm not quite sure what the problem is but pain has erupted into my right wrist which is also my throwing wrist. I haven't thrown in a week and tomorrow I will resume my throwing despite any lingering pain. If the pain persists any longer than another few weeks then I am definitely going to the doctor...something I HATE to do. My first meet will be in San Antonio for the UTSA Relays.
Also in the realm of throwing, I have begun thinking about a modest future as a throws coach. I have altogether had 4 athletes under my instruction and have enjoyed every minute of it. I hope to have more athletes come to me! Every throws coach I have ever been with has always portrayed sense of "sharing the love" as their most important priority in coaching and I am starting to realize this as I encounter more coaching opportunities. Teaching or coaching something you are passionate about ultimately turns into a sincere effort to share...and spread love. Anyways, I am beginning a site that is FAAAAAR from done. It only has 3 pages on it now and I hope to have about 7. There are also many mistakes in regards to grammar as I have only sketched out my ideas. I suppose I haven't officially made it public but here is what I have farted out so far. freewebs.com/jameskwonlee

Music has been going well and my lip injury is getting better. The scar tissue that was left behind is naturally beginning to diminish. However, with these types of injuries, a total erasure of scar tissue is very rare so I won't count on it as it isn't necessary for it to be completely gone. Nevertheless, I am happy with my progress. I have an audition for the Atlanta Symphony in less than a week. The only thing that has been sucking lately is that I have been getting a series of fever blisters on my lips that prevent me from playing. As my luck would have it, I currently have a big throbbing fever blister on my lip that has prevented my practice for the past few days...which is never a good thing when a major audition is only days away. All I can do at this point is be optimistic and see this as valuable time off.

I have been doing a lot of listening lately (Hearing some Brahms 4th sym as we speak) and finding more pieces that I have instantly fallen in love with. I'm eternally thankful for the gift of music...truly fantastic. I have come to the conclusion that I want to spend the summer learning Brahm's Intermezzo op 118 no 2 and Chopin's prelude no 13. I am definitely a wannabe pianist and this would be a great project for me.

And before I go I must mention a concern for myself...
A concern that has me wondering if I have lost a certain part of myself?
I remember a time when I wrote endlessly on just about anything that I either saw, experienced, felt, touched...whatever...with no regard to the possibility of being outspoken. And now it seems as if I have lost more than just the inspiration to write...that I may have lost my touch with what is around me. Although I take much enjoyment out of tirelessly pursuing music and athletics I think I have forgotten that no matter how busy I am and how devoted I might be that I must constantly nurture the child-like curiosity that all humans have the opporunity to possess. It's a shame how we often let our reactions to life be glossed over and swept up in a tide as strong as everyday routine. I do hope to write more...and more importantly...I beg God to re-open my eyes.

Outlook for Spring/Summer 2008

2007-12-29T20:32:00.000-06:00

Well, another winter season is in full swing (and waning, just about) and this is usually a time of anticipation and planning for me in both music and athletics.
Additionally, in 2008, I do hope to write more...not only in terms of updating and blogging...but I really would like continue my briefly lost fever to write about pretty much anything that I am dealing with or thinking about. This habit seems to have left me but it shall resume!! Have I been too busy or mentally occupied?...maybe...but that is a shame and a fault that only I am responsible for. Some topics floating in my head are:
Politics- how, as only an observer (as opposed to being an active promoter of a thought or political party) I notice how politics have become nothing more than an entertaining shouting match thus losing it's essential purpose.
Religion- how people fail to question in order to find understanding or furthur appreciation
Love- isn't love for others or things the most important of all things...being more important and taking precedence over ANYTHING else in life...
My family-beautiful things happen in this house (that I currently live in...but not for long) everyday.

I hope I get to these by the spring.

And here are some thoughts via the usual split of "Music" and "Athletics":

MUSIC
I do have auditions coming up...
Looks like there's a good chance I will be auditioning for the Atlanta Symphony Orchestra. They are seeking a 2nd trombonist/utility trombonist. I have visited the city and also met members of their current trombone section. The city is AMAZING and the guys I met are players that I admire VERY MUCH. This audition is March 2nd.
The New York Philharmonic will soon hold an audition for a new Assistant Principal trombonist. When they announce the date, I'm sure I'll be sending a resume. Yeah, me...New York Philharmonic...haha. But eh, these auditions don't always come up. Not quite sure when this audition will be. I'm guessing late spring.
San Antonio Symphony is looking for an assistant principal/second trombonist. This is May 5th.

MY playing is currently WILDLY out of shape. In fact, it may be the worst it has ever been. My lip issues are still lingering from my lip injury in which I took about a month's time off...combine that with my trombone being damaged and kept in the shop for two weeks, and a cold and BAM...there are some out of shape chops. But, it's just a matter of gettin back into it an plugging away. So, the next few weeks aren't going to be fun (mainly because no one likes to sound bad...even when practicing). But I CAN play now...thank you Jesus.

Athletics
It is indeed winter and my goals and focus for the 2008 season are becoming much more refined (as is the case every year about this time). Gladly, this year I will not have an indoor season (which usually takes place during the months of Jan and Feb) which occupies me with the shot-put...I am not a shot-put thrower! So, for this I am glad. I can focus the early 2008 months on more off-season discus training.
I have a better idea of my body dimensions for this season. It is much different from past seasons in which I typically compete at about 295lbs!. This year, I will be at 260lbs. Currently i am about 270...so my target date for this will be around mid-Feb. I also am aiming to have a very strong core and abdominals this season. The aim is to have a leaner body but be stronger than ever. THIS WILL TAKE SOME WORK. The challenge is to lose fat yet maintain and even build more muscle mass...One day it's gonna have to just click in...badass mode. Olympic Trials are the goal.

well there it is...

holler

June

2007-12-28T01:24:00.000-06:00

written Dec 4th, 2006

To and for my brother with every fiber of my heart...

June

I have never loved him more than I love him now. For now I look into his heart and what I see is something this world fails to know everyday. His heart is like water…fragile, sensitive, flowing, light. His heart is honest, caring,

My brother June is a bit different. They say he has schizophrenia…and not the highly commercialized perception…if that even exists. They say he lives in an imaginary world most of the time…they say he is depressed…they say his mind does not function correctly.,,,they say he is detached from emotion at times…not knowing when to connect one emotion to the other…Yes, it is true, on the surface my brother’s issues cannot exist in our world. He can’t function the way we would want him to…he cant understand the way we want him to…but he is beautiful…he is pure…and what his heart knows is something the world is lacking a great deal.

Before he faded into his current state, I knew what the world saw of him and accepted for about the first twelve years of my life. Even then he was considered kind of an oddball…though very handsome (a lady killer, quite frankly)…he was very sensitive, odd, “out there”. He drew art…and not only did he draw art…he drew amazing art…award winning, in fact. His creativity was his most amazing feature…he tapped into worlds unknown by many…unaccepted by most…unwilling to comprehend by others. His brain is always thinking, extraordinarily…realizing beauties the world is blind to…and this is “odd” to us. Indeed, his mind was and still is something unlike this world.

He had a very unique sense of humor…often misunderstood and maybe seen as goofy or odd. But I loved it…it was pure, it was honest, and it was real…too real for the world to know it was funny…too pure for anyone to be willing to laugh at it…too honest for anyone to admit…

And for those twelve years of my life, he fit the definition of the perfect brother…he loved me with everything he had…he kissed me everyday-more than I ever wanted him too…he carried me…he slept by me as a baby that was ten years younger than him…he got me into sports…taught me how to throw a spiral…told me to believe in myself…told me to give it my all… As we both grew, ten years apart in age, he continued that love for me… i remember many times bike ride,- him operating the bike, me straddling the bike frame with a seat that he made from several blankets. We’d ride to dairy queen, the movies, his friends houses…I was in his arms all the time.

I don’t think I have ever told him I that I love him…I don’t think he ever heard it…then, all I knew was him…and to be with him all the time seemed natural and given…

In the summer of 1998 my brother started hallucinating…he saw things that were not there…he heard things that we couldn’t hear. Treatment followed and progress was made…

Then came a dive into drugs and alcohol…though many seem to function with the combination of the two…my brother’s silk heart was easily tainted…he got into trouble…he was abused…he met the wrong people…he was attacked…he suffered…he was isolated from my family as a problem…he was abused…he was told he was no good…my father telling him to leave the family…me telling him that no one wanted him around…me yelling at him…almost hating him while I was in high school…I hated him for not being the person that I wanted him to be…the person the world wanted him to be…I was hating the person who loved me with all of his heart before the day I was born. The things I said…the things we all said…how could anyone handle it…and such trauma was part of his whole life…he moved here from korea when he was seven..to a foreign land…he was left at home alone because my parents had tow ork..he cried from the momtn they left until the moment they cam eback…he was scared…he dealt with extraordinary struggle of an immigrating child…he came before me…he guided me through this world…he went through it…not me…all the horror…he went through it…and protected me from it

Regrets, pain, sorrow…this is where we find ourselves sometimes…but its no one’s fault really…what is –is what is.

I am at odds with the spiritual reality…the more I maintain my faith…the more I hurt…the more I cry…

WHY God? Why does pain even exist? Don’t you run this shit? Why are humans doomed? Don’t you run this shit?

The question is simple…primitive, even. But is it valid? Yes. Faith, james…keep faith...often told to me by people who are not in my shoes…faith, yes…it can be attained…but what should I base it off? The high number of people who recover from mental illness?...sarcasm. The high number of mentally ill people who have had the bible beaten on their heads…and NOT “entered the kingdom of heaven”? The complete unfairness of the preaching…that who so ever shall not love God will burn in eternal suffering…people like the mentally ill who are not capable of comprehending Christianity and are at mercy of what GOD ALLOWED TO HAPPEN?( Yes, because he is, in fact, the creator of all). Is that right? Is that Christianity, really? Does Christianity send the mentally ill to HELL because they weren’t able to comprehend the word?

Yes, to me, there is a God…but God in the real sense has not been shown to me…there is something else…has to be…there has to be a certain truth…my brother is a testament to that.

Maybe we should accept it…that is reality…accept it and live with it as a beautiful situation…that is better…that is what makes sense. I don’t understand why we should see it as him being damned for eternity? Is this Christianity?

I spend time with him now…his overly active brain is now numbed by medications…he is no longer the June that we once new…he is the June that God created…what we know now…what is true. Before just a few days ago for years ( hes been at a “house for weird people” in LA) I coudlnt communicate with him…I wasn’t willing to accept what he is…because it hurt me…because it ripped my heart…but now…we communicate…we talk…we hold conversations…we act like brothers…something I haven’t done with him since I was 12…yeh, he still murmurs to himself…he still makes up certain events that have happened…he still believes the social security is holding 800,000 dollars for him…but he is my brother…and I know him…the love he gave to me helps me…it guides me…to understand…to believe…to share…to see into his heart…

We talk, sometimes he makes stuff up…but what he says…its beautiful,,,its true to him…it serves as a manifestation of his heart…its what the world lacks…someone who taps into what is beautiful. Sometimes it feels as if he is talking to himself like he has been doing forever…sometimes he talks to me…like a regular person…something we haven’t done in years.

I always remember him being upset at what the world see as slight mishaps…perhaps something someone said or did…it bothered him for hours…often reoccurring in his mind sometimes maybe a month later…

Hyung, as I call him, has opened my heart to the universe. I hear what he rambles to himself…I come to understand why he gets upset…I want to know what he is thinking…

Schizophrenics are said to be in an imaginary world. My brother is known to be in an imaginary world…but who is closer to reality? We live our lives ignoring so many important issues…we lie to ourselves…we don’t answer to our hearts…we spend all of our time coping with what is essentially wrong…we dont answer to our heart…we don’t love in every sense of the word…we’re afraid to put our emotions on display...we accept denial…we pursue prestige…we envy…we lie…what can be more far from reality?

Maybe we have one purpose in life…we live our life for each other…we sacrifice everything we have for just one other person…Hyung does it for me. His life is a sacrifice…his whole life…it opens my eyes, my heart, my everything…with every day that he lives, reality for me exists…truth exists, honesty exists…as I am writing this, this damned Microsoft words tells me how I shouldn’t write this…for what? What is the importance of that? WHAT?

Hyung, I love you…you gave me everything I have…everything I know…everything I love…God gave you to me…one day we will know what God has in store…the world will change because of you…the world will know what love is…the world will know truth…because of you…because I remember everything…the bike rides, the kisses, the hugs, the pain, the abuse, the struggle, loving me with everything you had. We don’t show affection to each other lik we used to when I was little…your reality keeps us from doing it for now…just wait for me. With your every breath I learn something new…your existence…your “ailment” gives me passion…it gives me closure…it gives me faith…I cant even imagine what you had to go through…the trauma…even if you don’t know it now…you will know that I love you…the world doesn’t live the way you think it should…and it angers you to the core of your heart…and I understand…you’ve tried your hardest to be the person you want to be…and the world doesn’t bother to understand you…I know why youre upset…and youre right

one day we’ll be together again…

the way it used to be…

in beauty

November 29, 2007

2007-11-29T01:44:00.000-06:00

Cool...so it seems as if some of you guys read this stuff...ok then! Back by such POPULAR demand here we go...ill split this between "music/trombone" and "athletics".

Well, school is rapping up for the fall semester and I can say this semester alone has provided me with a lot of experiences... dot dot dot.

I've met a lot of new people and especially happy to have met the people I would never imagined I would associate with. So that's great.

MUSIC/TROMBONE

Musically this semester was very good. I have taken strides in my playing (aside from BUSTING my lip hardcore which set me back quite a bit...more later) and also have learned a great deal from my auditioning experience in Cincinnati. Aside from just garnering "auditioning experience" I learned one VERY important thing from my audition in Cincinnati...and that is the fact that I CAN compete on a high level...and that I CAN do what I want to do....which is to play in an orchestra...the word "will" however...not gonna jump the gun on that won quite yet. But i did come to the realization that yeah, what I want to do and how I do it...and what I thought I was capable of...its there for the takin.
My lip////yeah, It got busted the hell out of...3 stitches and about a month off of playing is what it took. The inside of my top lip was dangling because it literally got carved out by my top teeth. I did get lucky, however...things could have been a lot worse. No, I really cant play the way I used to...some things will have to change in order for me to progress...but wow...I never knew how much I loved playing until this happened. My first few notes back were very emotional... i knew I had to keep playing...no matter what damage this injury might have done. But I am playing again now...things are kind fo squirly...but I am playing! thats all I care about...something I havent genuinely felt since i was eleven years old.
Lessons this semester have gone well as always and orchestra has been fun as always. However, sadly, a long-time friend of mine passed away. Someone who truly implanted and inspired the aspect of LOVE that I realize today. I first met him when he was only 13 and I was 14. An odd couple we were but what drew me to him was his passion for music....at the age of 13! Someone who I could venture to say might have been a prodigy on the trombone. Ryan exposed me to such beautiful things and music for me has a lot to do with him. I'm sad that he had to pass at such a young age, but he gave me a lifetime.

ATHLETICS

Discus training has been going well. Not a lot of throwing has been happening...pretty much all of my off-season training to this point has been strength and conditioning. Currently my weight is within the 270-273 lbs range. This is about ten lbs lighter than my originally intended weight for the season but my strength has maintained itself and the loss of mody mass isnt hurting my strength at all. Assuredly, this new weight will help my technique a lot and will allow my body to be a bit more efficient in the ring. The 2008 season is an Olympic year so my main goal is to qualify for the trials...which means I would have to focus on my season leaking well into the summer...thus me waiting later to begin throwing in order to avoid peaking too early. My season usually ends right when the summer begins so this will definitely require adjustments.
My season will likely start in mid- March in Austin, TX for the Texas Invitational. I have faith in myself. In both music and throwing...you have to go for broke. There is never failure...there is only learning, living, and loving.

Yo dog

2007-09-17T01:17:00.000-05:00

hola mijo

Alrighty,

School has started for all the students in this university but me...seems like. The Cincinnati Symphony is lettin me audition for their 2nd/assistant principal trombone spot in a few months so this opportunity is all I seem to care about right now. Even my throws training has taken a back burner for now. This is my first real audition and more and more am I starting to realize how hard it is on my lips and embouchure muscles during this preparation phase (otherwise referred to as "face" in the catch-all terminology). It's also a killer when you factor in the trauma to the face experienced in rehearsals aside from practicing. It's gotten bad enough to where I have only played about 1 hr on Saturday and none today (Sunday) to let the muscles regain some structure and repair. Im finding out more everyday that I need to treat the face as I would my body as an athlete; exercise, rest, and treatment. Something I will have to be more disciplined in for the rest of my preparation in the next six weeks or so. My goal is to show them what I got...that's all I can control. To say that I am excited is a horrible understatement. Yeah, there will be more experienced players there...some of whose playing I admire very much...but again, all I need to focus on is showing them what I am all about...and that effort in itself can be a life-long study.

Teaching trombone has been good. My kids at Cypress Woods seem to be doing better and I think I have become a better teacher. I have one kid in particular who sounds real good and wants to major in music in college and I have absolutely no hesitance to encourage this path for her. Though music is considered a "get lucky" type of occupation, I think she has what it takes to give it a shot. I also have students at Cypress Springs High School and those are some great kids. Their band directors have all prepared them well for the new school year and I expect a large handful of them to make region band/orchestra. There, I also have a kid who wants to major in music and the case is the same with him. I honestly do have faith in his talent ambition to become a performer. I'm glad God has given them to me as I am excited to play a substantial role in their path to success and fulfillment.

I have not eliminated my athletics training completely, however. I have not been throwing at all lately (as it is still deep into the off-season for us) but I have altered my body slightly all while building more intellect on my events through coaching a local high school kid. It is absolutely true that, in many aspects, coaches will learn more from their athletes than the other way around. I got a high school sophomore right now taking some discus lessons from me and I think he's got some sort of potential. He's a smart kid, listens to me, and he lets me be hard on him. He buys into my coaching schemes despite his dad's slight concern with my approach. The kid is making some great improvements both physically and intellectually that is very impressive for someone of his age. His goals are to break his school's record and make the state trackmeet for the Texas private school scene otherwise known as TAPPS (as opposed to the UIL which governs the Texas public schools).

Currently, I am getting closer to my desired competition weight for next season which is going to be in the 278-280 lbs range. Right now I'm sittin at about 283-285 on any given day and I already feel better than the previous 296-298 range. Training has consisted of a "body balancing" weight-lifting regimen done four days a week. Cardio in the form of interval training is typically done 2-3 times per week. My diet has cleaned up only a little bit but for people like me (and others) who have spent most of their lives eating terrible food, that can help quite a bit. I usually keep it clean during the week with sandwiches, nuts, fruit, and a daily plate of food (prepared by my wonderful momma packed and ready to go for me in the morning) consisting of rice, meat (typically fish, chicken, or beef), and spiced cabbage ("kimchi")... and on the weekends I let myself have some fast-food(which is DELICIOUS) and restaurant food. Once I hit 280 I need o focus a lot more on building more muscle mass and leaning the body to maintain a very muscular 280. That'll be hard work.

Ok, need to get back to my social psych assignment so that just about does it for this study break...which seems to have lasted longer than any study session I have had or will ever have...by now, I think you know my positions on "school". Tomorrow, the usual drill...wake up, practice, class, practice, teach, practice.

yo momma,
Lee

Amidst Summer's Waning

2007-08-03T00:06:00.000-05:00

It is a sad time...
Summer is almost over. What an effing bummer.
However, to wrap it up, The summer of '07 turned out to be exactly what I needed. A great winding down period from school year of hell.
I've spent a good amount of time practicing, teaching, and working out. My playing has made some important strides, my students-getting better, and my body has gone the direction I wanted it to. Currently, I have the most muscle I have ever had yet weigh 8 lbs less than my usual competition weight. I seriously had fast food like every day for a long stretch. Now I'm making it once a week...and this is like some sort of record....hahaha.

looking ahead:
-School...is gonna be about as cool as dead cat as usual.
-I've added two high schools to my teaching schedule. Looks like I will be teaching at Cy-Woods, Elkins, and Conroe High Schools. I have concluded that I just cannot teach middle school kids...not at this point. teaching younger players is a skill in itself...which will take time for me. How will I have time? Well, lets just say there is going be a big adjustment soon.....which i cannot share now...but I will still be training for discus, going to school, and resume trombonitus. Teaching will be cool. My teaching is getting better with every lesson so that is exciting. I look to have 1-2 kids making state this year and about 50% of my kids making region.
- I don't plan to cut my hair.....hahah
-I will train well this year. Looking to adjust my competition weight to about 280lbs. This is much less than 296 that was last season. I will be stronger and leaner...thats that.
-I'm gonna continue practicing, obviously. I hope to devote 3-4 hrs a day regularly outside of rehearsals. This is essentially my purpose for school....to train, cultivate, and develop as a performer and to take this with me to the real world when I leave.
-I will likely pursue German as another language to learn to somewhat complete the arsenal of languages. The little french, italian, korean, and spanish I know really provide a lot for me both in terms of benefit and personal enjoyment/knowledge. It just helps me make sense of things. I'm lucky to have grown up where I grew up and so is everyone else that did with me in the same area.

Alrighty, that'll due for another update...
ciao

a whole lot of the same thing

2007-05-16T01:58:00.001-05:00

Buon giorno

Well school has ended and this is a great thing...mainly cus I hate school...but also because a load has been off my shoulders and now I can practice trombone and train for throwing without the useless stress of homework on my mind. Don't get me wrong...music is my major...but classes are not...I love music...but I hate class. For me, school is essentially practicing, rehearsing, and taking lessons with my trombone teacher...training in music...to become a better player. And I consider myself to be a double-major as I am also very focused on training for my throwing.

Conference-USA meet was this past weekend and I won it. yay. I ended up throwing 183 feet just about and though it is under my personal record, I am very happy with the result. There are many factors that determine the potential of distance on throws on a certain day and the day of conference the conditions did not turn out to be optimal for record-breaking performances. However, it is all about who throws the furthest compared to others on the day of competition and I came out on top. I'm very pleased to have competed well...usually Im caught up in myself at meets trying to better my personal record and I often forget that there are others that I have to compete with...and I am glad i was able to compete well. Next up there is regionals in Des Moines, Iowa and if I do well then I will qualify for the NCAA national championships. My goal for regionals is to be in shape to throw 60 meters which is about 197'. I am confident that I can do this. Training for regionals thus far has been pretty good and right now my throws sessions are focused on quality rather than quantity as this time of year you really don't want to throw yourself out. Training in terms of out of the ring includes sprinting, jogging, ab work, power cleans, overhead snatches, squats, flys, and delt work....that's all. At this point of the yr it is important to focus on event-specific muscles and concerns to body balancing are addressed later when the off-season arrives. I'm looking forward to training for regionals for a chance to throw at NCAA nationals...I'm pretty optimistic about my chances but you never know what to expect...all you can do is train the best you can and give it your best...that is all you can ask of yourself in situations such as qualifying for big meets and championships. Same with music...you have to practice hard and when the time comes to perform it should be a celebration of your hard work...no matter the outcome, there is no wasted time or energy because the journey you take to become better is what is most important.

Music has been going well. Again, without school I now have energy to devote to only two things...throwing and music...it feels great. So as you can imagine, my practice sessions are a lot more focused and productive. I've come to the realization that I need to quit imitating sounds and produce more sounds that are unique to myself...it is art afterall. People always compliment my sound however I think there is more... My sound has evolved from what I have heard and I think now its time to add an element of personalization and unique quality to my sound and character of playing. Everyone has something extraordinarily special to offer in music however it is often neglected because people practice with an intention to conform to what is "good"playing and stopping their satisfactions there...I have a lot to offer this world...time to cultivate my sound...

The summer for me will be spent doing what I essentially want to do with my time...which is splitting my day between throws training and practicing my trombone. That is the life, ahhhhh! No friggin nagging theory HW to deprive me of sleep ...sleep needed in order to have good practice sessions and training. I will teach a good amount of lessons this summer to my high school kids and also open my network to take on more students for next school year. I'm also lookign forward to rehearsing with my brass quintet and playing music with colleagues now that we arent all tied up with HW and rehearsals for lame music. I imagine I'll take a one-week break from the trombone sometime in the middle of the summer as I plan to play a recital sometime in early July. This recital keeps on being pushed back but you know what...I have that luxury!!!

So there it is...another update.

Ciao

Musical and Athletic training update

2007-02-08T23:37:00.000-06:00

Things are, as always, exceptionally busy. And now that I am in season everyday is a day that prepares me for competition on every weekend. Right now we are in the shot-put as only indoor track and field events are competed during the early time of the year. I hate shot-put and the only reason I allow myself to do it is to help the team...i really do hate the shot-put...wah. however, I have been getting better at it especially after spending a few weeks with legendary UH coach Tom Tellez...and after our work together, I know exactly why he is legendary...the man just flat out knows how to communicate with athletes. Maybe this is why the number 1 long jumper in the world has had a prolonged stay in Houston just to train with him. Anyways, my goal is to qualify for the NCAA meet in about a month from now and I need about 5 more feet on my throw to do it ...and I know i am well capable of that...I just need to let one go. Im pretty confident I can throw this damned ball far but the event just doesn't appeal to me thus leaving me at practiced with not much passion...not as much passion as when I practice the disc...and ah, yes, we have just started the discus back up after about a 2 month layoff and it has been goign great. Im sitting at about and easy throw of 180' which was me at my prime last season...to be at this point before the outdoor season has even started is a very good sign. My goal for the first outdoor meet this year is 200' and my season goal is 210'. I can do it...i just feel like it is going to happen...as an athlete, you just know things...and if they don't work out, its not because you weren't capable...it just calls for re-examination. i started out the discus last yr at about 160 and ended up throwing 188' at my first meet...and i knew it then too.

Music has also been getting better. I've had some good lessons lately with my teacher who is pretty much one of the smartest people I have ever come to know. I am playing a recital this semester so despite the busy track season, I will prepare a recital and share music with the world! I'm also int he trombone choir for the first time and though I don't liek trombone choir much as a whole, it does give me a work-out for my chops and helps me build some important muscle to become a stronger player. Anyways, there are some things to look forward to as far as the orchestra season is concerned and also my friend Weston who plays with the MET Opera is coming down to give a masterclass so that will be fun im sure. I have also still been with my quintet, we now have a name and it is the Metropolitan Brass, oddly. The players are completely professional and I am the exception but Im glad I get to work with people who serve as good examples.

Sleep is not something ive beend oing lately....its impossible...school, training, practicing, school work, teaching, family...who has the time. I will now turn into slumber for what is a night that consiosts of more sleep than I usually get...5 hrs...that's not bad.

until next time,
arrivederci

The Pursuit of ....What?

2007-01-17T17:33:00.000-06:00

I have recently come to question the motives of us...creatures of economy.

It seems to me that too many people have lost a hold of the role that things such as money, education, training (whatever it may be), and time should play in our existence.
There was a point in history when people put efforts into their pursuits for search of a greater perspective, purpose, goal...when education meant the opportunity to learn, when training meant the opportunity to improve, and when time devoted was time loved...
Now were in a time when all three of these things equate to the likes of money, qualification, and status in order to define success amongst others and to give reason to pat ourselves amongst our backs. We're in an age when education is seen as a means of income, training is seen as a means of qualifications to make income, and how time is now equating to money. We're turning our training and education into benchmarks of status rather than opportunities of further appreciation...silly titles such as John Doe, ph.d are now affiliated with names and people feel the need to boast a certain status...why is this so important? People are striving to excel on the basis of everyone else's short-comings, competing with only each other and stopping their satisfaction with superiority over another person.

How have we funneled into the ideal that purely beautiful factors such as learning, training, and time devoted are factors of generating wealth? And our educational systems have switched their nature from the enlightening state of our ancient philosophers to what is now seeming to be a series of memorization and regurgitation... and who shall ever master this silly system of education will be stamped with an approval of A. "Education" is now what must be attained for the handle of money.

Have we lost a hold of why we live?

Instead money should serve as a means of sustainment...not something we devote our lives to. And yes, this is coming from a son of immigrants and a son of a family who has never known what it is to flourish economically. There are things more important than money...fulfillment, love, giving something to this world, taking something from this world...sharing something...yes, money does play a role but only to facilitate the greater good.

We are living in a time when education and training is seen as a means of money, and not as a means of learning. When all pursuits are geared towards the pursuit of money...money that will come and go.

The concept of doing what you love over the pursuit of money is something that is far fetched... and the life pursuits of many individuals are directed by monetary prosperity.
Yes, money must be made...we live in a world that is dependent upon it...and no, we cannot survive off just a love for what we do... but money is not what we should love and however little or much has been made cannot dictate our happiness.

is this writing repetitive? is this something our teachers tell us not to do for an "a" paper? I'm repetitive for the sake of communicating this idea. What is the reason for our next step? For our next breath? What is it for? something that comes and goes...or for something or things that we were born to do?

I have met many people who make the majority of their income doing something that is NOT what they love to do...yet they acknowledge this and pursue whatever it is they love unceasingly...that is real, that is genuine...money for them is a blessing that helps them sustain other things that are more important than money.
To make money and to stop the evolution of your existence at that point is when tragedy occurs.

Life

2006-12-25T01:42:00.000-06:00

Winter break has begun and many hours of boredom will ensue...I like it.
I don't know why being bored or "unproductive" is highly disdained...or being busy is "good". Being busy is being busy,,,.being bored is being bored. I'm a teacher, student, athlete, and musician...Business is something that consumes me and getting away from it as much as I can is something I pursue with passion. Being bored and doing jack shit is AWESOME...why is busy so cool? To the point where it become competitive...what the hell?

I went to NY. It was cool. Felt good to actually be "living" there for a week. And I didnt take one single picture...which is cool. I let myself live there and absorb everything. My english teacher did comment on the fact that tourists just take too many pictures...they dont really seem to actually breath in and enjoy where they are at...they focus on their pictures.
Anyways, I didnt do the typical tourist thing...I stayed in a pretty ghetto uptown apartment but thats probably where I would want to stay anyway. I saw all kinds of people going up and down the city ont eh train, going far uptown to far downtown. It was cool...lots of food. And the trip also helped me gain more inspiration for what I consider to be my life's work in music...share my art which has been cultivated by where I am from...and it's not NY...where everythign seems to be "hapenning"...my art is from Houston...spring branch...the world will know.

Winter break training is going pretty well...there are some obvious poundage gains from allt he baked desserts I am eating...whatev...i tend to gain and lose weight very easily so im not too concerned. Our first indoor meet is Jan 12th in Arkansas and I am truly excited to finally be eligible to compete and not have to red shirt like i did last yr! I dont start discus until March when outdoor season starts so until then ill be focusing a pretty good deal on shot-put while occasionally going back to discus. In march, however, ill be focusing on discus and letting shot put die out even though i will still compete int eh event.

Trombone is going pretty well...especially after a well-needed break during my NY trip. Come to think of it, I haven't taken more than a week off in maybe the last 3 yrs. Lots of players will do a week off atleast once a year! I'm playing a recital int he spring so I will be preparing hardcore for that...to rock faces off...hellz yeah. My friend Weston of the Metropolitan Opera Orchestra will come to UH to give amasterclass so that also something to look forward to. Orchestra for the semester seems to be pretty damned bland as far as trombone parts go and event he rep in genral just doesnt seem interesting. Oh well. Next year we will be doing Scheherezade and russian easter overutre among other things so ill look forward to that.

ite guys, gotta get up early for a gig.

Merriest of Christmas'

JL

June

2006-12-04T00:50:00.000-06:00

To and for my brother with every fiber of my heart...

June

I don’t think I have ever told him I that I love him…I don’t think he ever heard it…then, all I knew was him…and to be with him all the time seemed natural and given…

In the summer of 1998 my brother started hallucinating…he saw things that were not there…he heard things that we couldn’t hear. Treatment followed and progress was made…

Regrets, pain, sorrow…this is where we find ourselves sometimes…but its no one’s fault really…what is –is what is.

I am at odds with the spiritual reality…the more I maintain my faith…the more I hurt…the more I cry…

WHY God? Why does pain even exist? Don’t you run this shit? Why are humans doomed? Don’t you run this shit?

Yes, to me, there is a God…but God in the real sense has not been shown to me…there is something else…has to be…there has to be a certain truth…my brother is a testament to that.

Hyung, as I call him, has opened my heart to the universe. I hear what he rambles to himself…I come to understand why he gets upset…I want to know what he is thinking…

one day we’ll be together again…

the way it used to be…

in beauty

Ciao i miei amici!

2006-11-13T23:50:00.000-06:00

Its about time for a damn update...whaddya think?

Life has been...well...what else is there to say...BUSY. I am officially occupied past all imagineable capacity. I reckon ill be doing some thinning of my schedule next semester.
Training has been good...my discus form is starting to come around but my shot-put is lagging...mayeb its because I honestly feel that shot-put is a far inferior event thus causing me to have NO enthusiasm when i practice it...i just think discus is more beautiful...
My body is shaping up decent...ive lost about 4% to my body fat and have lost about 5 legit pounds. I need to lose about 5% more in body fat and maintain my weight...thus meaning i need to put on more muscle.
Trombone has been absolutely SUCKING....absolutely...SUCKING. What the hell. Yeah, doing athletics, trombone, school, and work is hard as hell and trombone has been suffering...but yo, im 22, healthy, and i love to throw and bone...so both shall it be. Ill worry about doing one thing when Im not able to do more than one thing...one life to live my friends...one life.
I have been extremely strung out lately but I got to catch opera with a good friend of mine the other night. We saw an early mozart opera and the performance was great. Im glad I got to go as i was brought back to a state of true love within music!!! I have seriously lacked concert-going experience lately...i blame academia. Anyways, looks like I have a new concert buddy!

Im currently in the sketches of three new writings...they have been mntioned before. THree writings on politics, christianity, and The Branch ( spring branch). I wil not be able to write these until my life lets up on me but I will get them done. I have begun wirting one of them but the attention to structure has absolutely demolished my writing style...so ill plan on jsut ripping it out on one sitting when school is not in session...i jsut write best that way...honestly.

I guess I have enough energy for a small rant...shall we?

Since when should we EVER seek recognition...for ANYTHING? Honestly. Does someone's approval altar what we have done...do the opinions of anyone mean anything in terms of what has been achieved? If I save Ethiopia from an economic hell, would a nice plaque from the president justify my work?
I was sitting in the locker room other day and one of my talented team mates was complaing about how they didnt mention all of his accolades on our team's media guide. And I told this fool..."why does any of that matter? do you like to high jump or do you like to high jump?"
But honestly, what has made us so needing of recognition? When we puruse things, it should be genuine...once we look up, the love is lost...honestly. enuffadat'

General Update

2006-09-25T01:20:00.000-05:00

Buon giorno (o notte) i miei amici!

Come stai? e io? Non c'e male. Il tempo e molto bene oggi!

Ok, finito.

Im just trying to recall my Italian...boy am I screwed when I go onto my next class...

Life has been the busiest it has ever been. Between school, training, practicing, rehearsals, and work I have time for just about nothing...and that inculdes HW. I don't work many hours but my busy schedule requires me to spread out the little hours that I do work over 4 days! its a lot of friggin driving...but my kids need me...and i want to teach them...so God give me strength.

I'm playing principal parts this year in the school orchestra so needless to say I am enjoying that very much. The repertoire this year isnt bad but it isnt anythign to be overtly excited about. This upcomign concert we are doing Saint Saens sympohony no 3 and otehr concerts down the lien will include Firebird and Sibelius 5th. Im also apart of the newly named Metropolitan Brass Quintet. This is truely a great opportuntiy and blessing for me as I am in an atmosphere of very high music making...definitely the highest I have ever been apart of...im REAL lucky to be in the group. i'm glad these guys and gal believe in me...most of the memebrs of the group have had extensive expereince with high-level orchestras and here's james...it is a challenge.

trainign has been going well. My throwing is out of shape but slowly my physical conditioning is coming around. I don't expect to be in good throwing shape until about late december before our indoor season starts. My goals of leaning my body are still in effect and Im pretty confident it will happen. I want to be at about 280lbs by January. Thatll be big and a bit leaner than my current 292lbs. Throwing technique involves a lot of physics that depend on balnce of body and proportion to make the concepts work...that woudl require me to gain more leg strength and lose some mass off of my torso. Do-able. Our crazy ass coach has decided to implement "gut-check" fridays in our workouts. Pretty much this occurs after our friday weights session and it comes in the form of a physical activity prolonged to the point where our bodys fail...and ideally our will is to take over and give us strength...im hurting right now.

I hope to audition for the Jacksonville Symphony in December. The only thing that will stop me is if they reject my resume...which is very likely...because I am only an undergraduate student...but mayeb theyll be nice. I do intend to treat this with very igh intensity unoike other auditioons I have taken...somethign in my brain assures me that I have what it takes to be competitive...

I got to catch some dinner with a good friend of mine the other night. It was a rather fun time...and any trip to Chipotle is hardly ever disappointing. Anyways, it was fun to catch up on things and we struck a very, in my opinion, important subject...which is the appreciation of classical music. It has been so unfortunate to see how modern society has pasted some sort of element of "sophistication" or "aquired-knowledge needed" attitude to the appreciation of classical music...that is a total setriment to art. it's a shame. This specific person started "well, I dont know much about classical music but I love..." with almost a tone of uncertain confidence...and she told me she loves Mozart...and I have no doubt she loves Mozart...jsut as much or more than the world's highest esteemed scholar of mozart...music is exploit the beauties within every individual...and the keyword is individual...the love doesnt occur in abook, a text book, a documentary...it occurs in the individual...and it manifests in a world only accessible through this type of love...anyone with the right heart can access it...it doesnt take knowledge...it takes heart.

I am off to bed...to rest an take on a day of classes fille dwith the "i havent prepared" fear...

until then,
arrivederci

training

2006-07-16T02:46:00.000-05:00

Training has been good. For the better part of a month my diet has cleaned up rather...well...slightly. But it is a start. I have bought groceries more often than fastfood and I prepare smaller meals throughout the day. Today, however, was a bomb. I just downed half a batch of brownies. Usually my diet goes to shit when Im not busy and on the go. For a stretch of about three days I was particularly good. I had several smaller meals with adequate supplemntation with my protein products. There are undoubtedly some muscular gains that are visually apparent from that span of days...at this point in my life when my hormone levels are up and my genetic makeup being good for muslce growth I am capable of makign gaisn VERy quickly. Its something that Im very glad to possess. Thank you Jesus.

Lately ive been focusing on using more perspective in terms of physics into my throwing an dbecome more intelligent with the concepts of throwing. It is helping a lot. There is also a lot of regard to neurology in any type of athletic event and the thrower who understands and applies these principals the most usually has a depper understanding...some people achieve this naturally...others have to realize it...such as myself. I am pretty good in terms of physical athleticism but my native ability to throw the discus is FAR outdone by other guys throughout the country. My primary sport in high school was basketball which isnt much of an explosive sport...its more a sport that deals with length, positioning, and any jumping is a result of a plant-extend action. Throwing utilizes a more explosive aspect and this is what i lack a lot. Most people have that advatage over me...and a lot of people have an advantage over me in terms of just pure talent...im not a bad athlete but I wasnt born with a native ability to throw well...my advantage however (and one that I am quite sure of)...is my intellect towards the sport. I apply a lot of physics to what im doing and compliment it with knowledge of neurology...its helps me understand the throw thoroughly...I believe it will help in the long run. A lot of my approach is directly related to how I approach practicing trombone. They have a lot in common...most capable minds I talk to agree with me on this...musicians and athletes alike.

I assume I will start throwing the shot-put again within the next month or so after spending all summer just focusing on discus. It is obvious that shot-put is a secondary event to me...discus is far superior and beautiful!!! seriously though. However my coach wants me to compete in shot-put because I can be good in it if i gave it more effort and it would help the team a lot in terms of points for meets. UH has definitly given me great opportunities and the coaching staff is great...putting in time to be competitive for shot-put is no problem at all when I consider how much I have to owe to a wonderful group of people who have helped me. it's the least I can do for UH. My goal for the 2007 indoor season is to hit 60' and get 61-63 feet in the outdoor season. Its definitely within my grasp right now. That distance should be good enough for maybe 5th at the NCAA national meet.

A good majority of people never feel a sense of team pride when it comes to track and field...me being one of them. But I think im now starting to feel an obligaton towards the team and the coaches and to help the team aspect. Ever since our new coach Leroy Burell took over for hall of famer Tom Tellez, he has had an undying and honest mission to become a national championship contender. Coach Burell is an outstanding track mind (Olympic medald and world records on his belt) and his comeptitive attitude for championships leaks over to his coaching. Its great to see him workin as he is always very enthusiastic and a great leader/mentor to the team. This year the team ended up 15th in the nation which is not bad but for anyone in the locker room far from where we want to be. I hope that I can provide a huge impact for this team to realize its goals of bcome a nationally recognized track team. That is why I am more than willing to give a little more effort in the shot-put. The goal is for my senior year to win both shot-put and discus titles in teh NCAA. I will estimate that 210' will win the discus and 66 feet will with the shot-put when i am a senior. Usually the discus title is right aroudn 200' feet but there is a very strong wave of underclassmen talent such as myself right now...and it is great..im looking forward to the competition!

Beginning tomorrow I am likely to begin writing my thoughts on how politics has perfectly shown how dumb human beings are capable of being. To sumarize, I will give my reflections upon how this nation has treated war, my views on the inconsistent treatment of what to label this war by the conservative sector, pick on the conservative sector, and comment on how people never seem to let themselves be face to face with the issues at hand. This is not a writing that involves propoganda for the liberal ideal. Those who know me knwo that I am not outspoken about american politics...I am a progressive however. Rather, this writing will be through the eyes humanity-with reason and perspective- showing how political people and minds have veered away from being reasonable and closing in on what is absurd. This will be my first ever attempt at voicing my thoughts politically but I have confidence...because I dont plan on losing my perspective. I will post it on here, on Xanga, and submit it to the Daily Cougar which is University of Houston's daily reader.

until then God Bless,

JL

The best reply to anything: "Why?"

2006-07-12T01:44:00.000-05:00

Today I saw a very well made informative documentary called "Why We Fight". As you could imagine it is adressing the state of our nation's history in war. Why we fight? A question that has no uniform ansswer across our nation especially pertaining to the most recent war in Iraq. The film takes a rather obvious anti-war bias but the rhetoric in which the film communicates is clear and fair. The film ends with an opinion of a retired defense secretary. She was asked, "Why do we fight?". The answer: "Because no one has stood up and asked that same question in congress".

This update is not an attempt to reflect my views upon our recent war as it is evident that our government hides so much from us and I don't know how it is possible for anyone like me to make any conviction. Rather, I would like to point out a devastating lack of use of the divine right to ask "Why?". None of our elected officials honestly asked "why?" to war. They may have shown some type of disapproval but no honest effort of questioning was sutained by any member of congress...or anything known to the civilian world. When we don't ask why we are failing to a) learn the truth and most importantly b) understand the truth. Our inability to ask "why?" ,however, isnt always a product of or passiveness...rather, it often occurs from our inability to deal with being subject to rediculing, embarassment, inconvenience...etc.

In my fields of music and athletics i often come across people who are not willing to consider aspects of performance in great detail...thus delaying their understanding of ...anything. Maybe their ignorance is truely...bliss. But I cannto live with that...I have to know WHY....to anything. WHY should I do this? WHY shouydl I do that? Not trying to be a pest here...im tryign to UNDERSTAND. It's sad how the world we live is has turned away from gainign true understanding and now aims towards molding to a group ideal as they internally sustain confusion. How can anything be true without proper understanding?

This is something that I feel the christian sector lacks quite a bit...it is improving however. But there are many unanswered questions....what reply do most of us get to them? Usually something that tells us not to question...something that tells us to rely on faith...just to let it not be questioned.

I am a believer in God...I am a child of God...one who is seeking (or awaiting) answeres from God to help me understand him. Again, there is no true undestanding without questioning...without knowing. This is one thing I think christians must adress as they spread the Gospel. There has to be an effort to help peopel UNDERSTAND God...and WHY God... before we can try to help them any more. I see so many people accept Jesus into their hearts and where do they end up in a few years down the line? Peopel have to pursue anything with understanding...

Its late and im kind of getting spacey with my writing as you can very well see...but the message here from me... ask WHY... WHY? So that we can understand... so that we can research...study...find out what justifies what we have been told...only then can you truely love.

-JL

Summerland III

2006-07-05T02:25:00.000-05:00

Hello,

As the weeks pass the rest of my summer looks as if it is forming into shape. I will be takign two mini-mester courses...basically a lot of effing class cramm\ed into about 6-7 weeks. My break is ending...which is ok. The courses I will be taking are Italian and American Literasture as I am an English minor. Italian is required for my bachelor of arts degree in music. What degree I get for music really does not matter as long as I am playing well...thats what matters...the set of letters that sit after you name in a business card has no bearing to whats important...how you sound. Plus the BA is letting me take foreign language...I chose Italian and later in life I will take up German. That'll put me into a general knowledge intot eh three main languages of music- French, Italian, and German.

I have been invited to spend time on the ranch of Tom Tellez who is the former UH track and field coach and a member of the UH and USA Track and field Hall of fame. It is quite an honor to be invited by him personally to spend time with him on his ranch and train...and also maybe ride some horses...they better be strong! It'll only be me and him on his ranch...that's intense. He's coached many greats most notably Carl Lewis, 9-time Olympic gold medalist. He's also coached all of UH's top throwers in history and several olympians in the throwing events...hes an all-around stud coach. Hopefulyl I will be able to fit time in between now and the end of summer to go up to his ranch. I am honored nonetheless.

Musically Im doign fine this summer. Im feeling my chops bending back into shape most recently but Im finding some frustruations with my horn. It seems to be backing up on me as I play it. It raises concerns. I may be looking out for a better instrument to play. I am also gonan have to study hard to place out of as many music courses as I can for the fall. I took plnety of these courses at SMU but theyre making me do test to shwo that I still remember...and any real performer wont remeber everything they learned in class...its not important for me to compeltely understands all the modes in early music...its just not important. I learned it once, I dont need to learn it EVER AGAIN.

And a rant...
I recently read an article on Men's Health Magazine that offered advive on hwo to conquer competition. It discussed a method which involves invokign a mental war...thus altering your opponen't ability by mentally attacking them. I read this article in pure DISGUST. When pursuits of this kind occur, it is a true indicator that the love of what you are doing is out of the window. America has become so oriented with dominance it has told us that we should take measures to altar the other party in order for us to feel dominant. Competition should be beautiful, truthful, and well...perfect. That is the true pursuit with love and passion. There is no accomplishment in winning when you've faced someone who was not able to put forth their best. It is truely pathetic to thrive on one's inability to do their best...what does it say about you? I think musicians are particularly good in dealign with competition...though there are idiots who offer exceptions...for the most part musicians pursue comeptitons and auditions with love, pursuit of beauty, and the burden of sharing. Their comeptiton is themself and the obstacles that otehr spresent to them...their competition is not the other people...the competition lies in a divine purpose....the purpose of accomplishment and satisfaction to one's work. ..and in my case, a happiness offered to my creator. It is absolutely pathetic to rely on someone else's bad day in order for you to thrive and salivate at the opportunity to capitalize...its not beautiful.

later,
JL

Back from Dallas...renewed sense of assurance.

2006-06-26T01:56:00.000-05:00

Came back from Dallas last night after a very difficult drive home that was tiring and boring as all hell. Despite hacing such a struggling trip back home, the overall week I spent in Dallas was wonderful to say the very least.

I originally planned this trip to Dallas to attend a throws training camp at SMU but it turned out to be a beautiful combination of musical and athletic endeavours.

I first arrived and attended camp. It was a three day event that required much energy and mental stamina. The camp went great and it was a pleasure to work with Dave Wollman, head coach of the track team (only a women's track team there after the men were cut in 2004) at SMU. For the past four years, the NCAA champion in the men's discus have been from SMU or people who transferred from SMU after their cut of the men's team...he is a good coach. Well, actually, a GREAT coach. He gave me a lot of encouragement and said I have the potential to be a national champion in the discus...this means a lot...coming from someone who has worked with so many world-class throwers. In the 2004 olympics, he had 8 athletes that have worked with him extensively in the throwing events. 3 of them were top 8 in the discus placing 1st, 2nd, and 8th. He has alot of confidence in me and I am happy to be able to work with him now and in the future...now it's just amtter of utilizing this potential. The camp only had 5 participants so it was great to be in such a focused atmosphere. Being there made me miss SMU a lot and I wish they still had a men's track program...It still doesnt make sense how they (SMU athletics dept) would cut a nationally known track program.

In the afternoon of the first day I went to take alesson with a professor from the University of North Texas who is an expert on the neurlogical funstion of brass playing. She helped me TREMENDOUSLY and I am already hearing and feeling the benefits in my playing. The day after the camp was over I also attended a recital and masterclass of New York Philharmonic principal trumpeter Phil Smith. This man is nothing short of amazing. His playing was truely inspirational and perfectly tasteful. At the same time, he was an extremely humble person who truely loved the fact that he was there and proved so as he offered advice. Truely one of the greatest people in the circle of brass playing.

So the trip overall was great in variosu aspects. It wa svery well worht the money I put forth for the camp and lessons and GAS...truely a trip to Dallas seperate from others. I come back to Houston with a renewed sense of assurance that I can be world-class in both music and athletics and that my best is capable of being THE BEST. I haven tbeen feeling down or infereior...only feelignt hat I have a long ways to go and I cant wait to embark on the journey to becoming the best I can be. it's just one of those things you know is right.

I will be heading back to Dallas July 14th or so to dogsit for a friend. Why would I go back to Dallas to housesit dogs? Well A) I like being in Dallas and B) itll give me quiet time and a place to have focused practice in a house by myself and at a nearby high school for discus.

Later
JL

Summerland II

2006-06-20T02:16:00.000-05:00

Well I'm off to Dallas for a few days to attend a training camp at SMU. It should be a fun trip that is filled with hours of training and hours of practicing. While I am up at Dallas I will stop in for a trombone lesson with Jan Kagarice at the University of North Texas. She is supposedly good with the certain issues I am facing in my playing. Throwing wise and trombone wise, I am excited about this trip. I am especially excited to be training under Coach Wollman who is the track coach at SMU. He is probably one of the highest regarded throws coaches in the nation with a well-known international reputation. If SMU had a men's track team, there is no question that I would have never left. But hey, UH is treatin me good...I just earned a full scholarship...and by EARNED i mean...EARNED. I came in as a no one (kinda still am a non one) and was offered nothing more than a spot on the team (rightfully so, no ones ever seen me throw). With my training and compeititon results, I was rewarded a full
scholarship...really feels liek i earned it...and liek it wasnt jsut handed to me. I got many offers out of highschool to places liek texas, texas a&m, and SFA but ellected SMU because I had a scholarship for music and coudl walk ont he track team...well,t hey cu tthe program...and here I am now...the unknown thrower climbing my way to bit by bit back into the sport...I feel like this scholarship is a very good step. This whole year I really had no intetnion of getting a scholarship..I was jsut happy they let me walk on...and I knew I could eventuially score money from the Music school...but my coach just said "hey, I got you on a scholarship" and it just capped everything off...it makes me feel good to have busted my ass with only the goal of wanting to throw far on my mind and then being rewarded for my passion with money! Wow, i am thankful. Now I just need to make sure I remain healthy...knock on wood.

Im kind of lining up my preparations for the music ensembles auditions in August. It is my total intent to blow the panel away with my best playing-which I know is potentially spectacular...i just know it. I'll have to whip my chops back into shape and shed down the music hardcore. My only intention is to play in orchestra as my schedule only will allow me into one ensemble...and I dont want to do band. I know my potential best will knock the panel dead...just a question if i can bring it to the audition! We will see. i am also anticipating the opening of some mid0major orcehstra positions and am likely to audition for these even if I do not intend to take the job. I feel mentally and in terms of maturity I am capable of preparing well for an audition ...and witht he combination of that and my talent...i feel that confident that I can be competitive...but again, its a matter of whther I will put the time in properly or not...that is yet to be seen! i do inmtend fully to finish out at UH with track and music but if somehow I win ajob withint he next two years that pays over 35 grand a yr or so...i may have ahard time deciding.

Anywho, I am off to Dallas. Until next time,
JL

Summerland

2006-06-14T02:04:00.000-05:00

hello all

I am writing on a nice summer night in June...I liek these nights...so relxing, aint got shit to do.

I've began my regular summer training after a sort of "lay -lowZ" period. So far it has been sprint drills, sprinting, throwing, cardio via basketball, and lifting. My lifting this whole summer will be ased on high repetitions as I am trying to add a different dimension fo strength. As I am writing right no wmy body is ACHING from the expectionally hard day I put in today. Im just afew hours I will be doing alegs workout and will be destroyed even more. I will be heading out the 21st to SMU for a 3 day training camp.

Tbone has been sucking ass. Mainly becuase Im a total headcase. I know for an absolute FACT my potential is world-class. No doubt...I know it, my teachers know it, my colleagues know it, professional players Ive played for know this...im jsut holding my self back mentally...I have called ateacher in north texas who is good with discussing these things so I will go up there during my SMU training camp to see her and see whats going on. I know for a fasct I have what it takes...i just need to break abrrier mentally...im workin on it. As of now, it is directl affecting the physical aspects of my playign such as embouchere. It's like what one of my teachers told me..."if you told Michael Jordan of every complexity that happens when he dunks a ball, then he would have never dunked the ball again"...thats kind of what im going through. A teacher fromt he past exposed me to all the complexities of playing abrass instrument and broke my playign down physically and my analytical nature took it for the worse...im too analytical of everything...it freezes the nature of playing an instrument. I have to overcome myself. Meanwhile, my enjoyment of music still persists. I am looking forward to the free cocnerts the Houston Symphony offers every year. I have been goign to these evry summer and its kind of become atradtition for me...none of my freidns truly enjoy classical cocnerts so I go by myself...its ok...

Time to sleep, wake-up, and bust my ass tomorrow training wise and bonin wise.

Until next time

JL

Art...what exactly are we doing with it?

2006-06-08T01:30:00.000-05:00

I consider art to be any medium in which the human uses to portray an idea, emotion, ...etc. These mediums are typically music, visual art, dance, theater, film, writing...and whatever else you can think of. But the intenion is so...to portray the essence of what is within. Any techniques or ideas to aid that can be beneficial but often it is taken out of functionality and abused without much regard to the core of what IS art.

I'm no expert on termonilogy to any extent but I don't feel that I have to be...afterall, this is art... a native charactertistic of humans that understands of what I feel to be a truely divine communication. I feel my natural ability can make such statement. Too many artists lose control of what is important. Instead of focusing on what the work ULTIMATELY entails from workiing from the inside-out....artists sometimes work from the outside-in. Inside meaning the ultiamte message at hand, and outside meanign what you do to enhance this message. I do believe in the use of affects, lighting, dynamics, emotion, and any other artistic embelshment but when all efforts are focused on technique the grasp onto the PURPOSE is lost...technquie, effects, and the other stuff must naturally eveolve out of a genuine pursuit to portray what is intended. I think an effort to be "dfferent" has taken on an utterly wrong perspective. When you have a work that only your professors and colleague can understand then the purpose of art has been disregarded entirely. It doesnt speak, it doesnt resonate...it only makes you an A in your compositon or film or choreography or art class...

True, not everyone is capable of understanding various art as many levels of depth are present but the effort to expand this circel of udnerstanding MUST be present...or the beauty of art itself begins to diminish.

I blame academia. I blame the school. I blame the professors that are growing in number that promote a false sense of innovation that is mistaken for an arttistic pursuit. Yes, art must progress but not at a rate that is faster than understanding. Things must progress from the inside-out. From love that yields new thought and idea...not the other way around.

I got the idea of this blog after seeing great example of both art that fulfills its purpose and art that fulfills nothing more than to raise eyebrows of maybe a film professor. You can tell...both examples had new features, had new ideas...but one more so than the others actually used them to feed the ultimate message, idea, emotion...and the ones that failed miserably were jsut scattered pieces of idea.

I welcome progression in art, but not when the idea of progression is the sole goal...art is in its truest form when it's innovations are yielded by a genuine purpose.

Summertime...and the living is...the same.

2006-05-31T02:16:00.000-05:00

Well summer is in full swing and I'm still busy as hell...but atleast im not busy from doing school work!

Today began with a masterclass that I will be giving for the next three days for the Cypress Woods HS trombone players. I have to admit, there is quite a good group of players that will be at Cy-Woods and I look forward to teaching them throughout the school year. They all seem to have nice attitudes and are all very nice. This is the first time i've done such a thing and Im glad to be apart of it because a) it pays and b) im teaching these kids what I believe are essential aspects of brass playing...a dicipline that I think many young trombonist lack in their early instruction...because of the lack of quality brass teachers for the young sector of brass instruction. I am also revealing them to important aspects of style and beauty...something many people dont obtain from playing in such acaste system known as TEXAS BAND. I am priviledged to have met great players who have influenced me a great deal and for me to pass on this love and art is truely a blessing. This is why I do it.

I have been playing in a really good quintet lately comprised of local pros young and old. It is a great experience for me as I am truely in a sponge-like state absorbing all the things I can from these professional players. The players in the group have played with pretty big name symphonies and studied at good schools. It is a blessing for me to learn from their experience. It also pressures me to play at my highest level possible so that I can be on their level of playing...it is abeautiful challenge and it brings out a part of me that I havent seen in a while...the eager and spontaneous effort to match the higher levels of other players...things tend to get compalcent in music school, ironically.

As far as trainign goes, this past week has been a pretty tame one. I traveled to Dallas for the majoity of the week to visit friends and not much trainign was done their other than a light lift. I havent throwin in about a week and sadly, that is the most time ive taken from throwing in about 6-7 months...I didnt realize how impoirtant it is to rest from throwing every once in a while...by body just feels...better. I will resume throwing tomorrow, however. Ill ease back into lifting and begin a cardio routine. I want to balance my body out and be at 285 come august...hopefully 280 by January. I will go back to Dallas for a breif training and also hit up Kingsville, TX at one point to train for afew days. It should be good...lots of gas, however!

There is also a big conference heading to my church this week and many activites have captivated our congregation. I am head of intrumental music at the church so I have to organize a few perfromances by our members.

It has been a hassle lately, practicing, rehearsing, giving the masterclasses, and keeping up with my church duties...i would liek to say im enjoying i right now...but im not...mainly because of these unexpected church duties...it will be over soon.

Well it is time for bed as I have a masterclass to give tomorrow morning and an opportunity influence young kids...it really is pretty cool if you think about it.

-JL

Vissi d'arte

2006-05-20T00:50:00.000-05:00

Passion, sincerity, integrity...such is the intent of Puccini's character in in his famous opera Tosca. "Living for the art" and enveloping yourself in the present to communicate this art.

I commute a long drive everyday to school that is at best a 45 minute drive in the morning. The routine hardly ever falls outside the lines of getting in the car, turning on NPR, and minlessly await as I glide into campus. One day was anything but ordinary however.

There was a story on NPR about the street musician scene in Berlin, Germany. Many street musicians from around the world have fled to the streets and subways of Berlin hopiong to take advantage of their newly formed union for public musicians. However, things have not been easy. In fact, there is a constant underachievement in gross income for many of the musicians. The reporter interviewed one of the men and helped us understand his past. He was a solider of the Russian army who played the accordian and was musically trained through their army to serve as a military musician. After his discharge and many years of struggle he made the trip to Berlin to start a new life. Though he is upset with how things have turned out, he is glad that there is now organization on street entertainment and that it is btter for the long run. When asked how he deals with a stuggling life he answered int he most sincerest of tone, "Don't think bad about your hard life...someone will walk by you, someone will give you small money, and even if you had a mistake in your solo-dont stop playing...because this is your solo...I just sit and play...I just sit and play for God".

I felt compelled to write about this as it is both beautiful and inspiring. We have to remember why we play. Sure we work hard to find employment but why we started...we started with that youthful love...the innocent love to play music. This is what should be held onto.

I can imagine walking by this man, just as I have walked by many intrigueing musicians, and Im sure I would remember vividly the day I saw him playing. It happens in everyday life. The moment when you sit back and say "hey, thats nice"...that in itself is a miracle...that is what Art is...to share. When I witness people or groups that exists solely for the promotion of art to people who would otherwise not understand it, I become overwhelmed at what beauty has occured.

That is what I devote myself to...to truely live for my passion...to truely love it and not to let it die...to maintain this child-like love that is pure and open-minded. That is life...its not for money, its not for respect, its not for legacy...life is to be lived in the moment...and to approach every wink with understanding and beauty...and to recognize it. Am I being cheesy?

-JL

Throwin' and bonin'. Bonin' and throwin'.

2006-05-16T02:10:00.000-05:00

Friends and Colleagues,

Throwing

My season looks as though it is beginning to wind down. I will throw maybe afew more meets but just that...a few...mainly to have more chances at possibly qualifying for the US Nationals. i will resume throwing and training until maybe late July to take a two week break. My body is beginning to tire and then will be a good time to take a break for my muscles to recover and to also serve as a healthy mental break from training. I want to begin focusing on my overall body fitness to balance my body out and just plain out be more healthy. Having a balanced body wll yield more efficient performance. When it comes around season, I will cut that out and narrow it down to event specific workouts...but that wont be until about late December to get ready for indoor season in January. I will add 2-3 cardio sessions per week, my lifitng will consist of high repetitious workouts to shed fat, and I will work on strengthening my legs especially in the area from my knees and below (shins, calves, and ankles-much damage from previous basketball carreer). By the end of the summer, I want to be a lean 280lbs and have more agile capablities vertically and horizontally. I'm sitting at about a 28 inch veritcal that was a 31 inch in the fall...have gained too much mass.

I have pretty much achieved my goals for the season. I told myself that at my first meet I would hit 185' and I did that...and more; 188-10. Hopefully, with the two or three meets I'll have this summer (mainly for the sake of practice) I can hit 195'. I scratched what was assuredly a 190+ throw in Abilene so I know I have it in me. As far as the shot-put goes...well, I have a longer way to go than I do in discus...so that is evidence of how FAR i have! both are quite lacking. This summer I will devote my technical practice to being slower out of the back and really being more efficient in the technique. All I pretty much do now is spin and whip...which is not good for the long run. I have to turn myself from a raw thrower to a somewhat mature competitor. lots of things have gone funny because of my immaturity...espescially in competition. I am really going to focus on practicing intelligently and keeping an honest perspective on my progression. My goal for this season was 185' in the first meet. My goal for next season is 200' in the first meet.

I have also set a goal for the summer of 2008 for the Olympic Trials. I know, for sure, that I will be there...now whether or not I get to the Olympics...have no clue. But my goal by then is to be in shape to throw 65 meters...which is about 213'. there are a lot of good young throwers in the nation...if I throw 65 meters in the trials and dont make it...i wont be mad...that will have been only my third year of competition! 65 and a half is about what won it at the las trials.

Trombone

Playing has been ok. I took three days of for a mental break just because I REALLY needed it. It has payed off. I plan on taking a week on in about a a month or so after my playing obligations pass. I really need the time off.

My goal in my summer practicing is to basically strengthen the fundamentals of playing through working on etudes, exceprts, and solos. That includes tuning, rhythm, and intonation. I feel more now than ever that I can accomplish a very productive summer of practicing. This year has helped me build a strong perspective on how to become a player despite not playing as much as I should have been. I have a solid education to recall upon to aid me...first with my two years at SMU with Kitzman and a new addition to my persepctive built here at UH with Warny. They are great compliments to each other. i feel that I have a lot to offer to the culture of music within the trombone community...i want to be able to share it one day and be an example.

I also hope to learn the solos and concerti written by Grondahl, Dutilieux, Tomasi, Mozart (Rondo Alla Turka), and Massenet. I am planning to play a recital in the fall of epic proportions...some of these pieces will be on it. I basically am doing this (though not required of me) to share with everyone the music I can offer...recitals are a great experience.

My goal for the fall is to come into the school year as solid as possible and to play solid ensemble auditions for the fall (thus shoving into the czarist band directors face that I can play-the guy hates me...i guess band directors just have anack for not liking me) . I know that what I am capable of can be the best at any school or conservatory in this country...there is no doubt about that...within me...and with any of the teachers I have ever had.

I also plan to take orchestral auditions during the next school year.

Bach Trombones are really raising an interst within me...if I find agreat Bach, I might end up selling this Edwards...im sure I can sell it...easily.

Well ther eyou have it...my summer plans...I will be teaching some this summer and helping ou tmy parents at the store..,other than that, im free...

till next time,
JL

School's End/Abilene Christian University Track Meet

2006-05-12T03:14:00.000-05:00

So school has ended and I am friggin glad to have a break for a friggin change. Remember, Jamesy has had non-stop school since august. And training and boning on top of that...glad to feel things slowing down for a damn change whew.

On wednesday night my bud and I from Rice went took the 6 1/2 hr drive up to Abilene for a track meet at ACU. Why? Because Jason Tunks the world's 7th best discus thrower was going to be there...thats WHY MUTHA PLUCKA! He throws for Canada and has placed high in the Olympics. Also an SMU grad.But yeah, it was more for an educational experience rather than trying to rip agood mark...but I did eh...decently 182'. I wouldnt be so upset normally but I scratched (fouled) a throw that couldve been my personal best at around 191'. I just let my bad habbits of not alwasy leaving the back of the ring kill me...thus proving how immature of a throwe I still am. Oh well...i threw it and I know I can do it so thats a start. The experience was truely a blessing for me. I've been keeping up with Jason for the whole year now and to finally meet the man in person was a true pleasure. Quite possibly the nicest thrower I have ever met. We talked a lot after the comp and he was very encouraging...he also commented on how he was glad that me and my Rice buddy loved throwing enough to drive all the way out to see someone throw a plate...its true..thye dude was strait up inspirational. And I honestly think my big throw (even if I scratched) was due to a big effort of support that he showed me the whole meet. Talk about class...this guy was great.

Even if the driving was friggin lame and costs were pretty high with hotels and shiz...the trip was definitely worth it...it was everything that I would hope to be and more...

Im glad.

Another stab at life

2006-05-07T03:00:00.000-05:00

Well, school is winding down and it finally seems like there is time to breath. A good portion of my lessons load with Clements High School and Hamilton Junir High will remain so it's good to know atleast SOME cash will be coming in. I just got an offer to teach at the newest addition to the Cyprees-Fairbanks School District at Cypress Woods High School. This school makes like the 8th high school or so...the district is HUGE. I really dont'...honestly, have no idea how this will work into my schedule next semester (teaching at three schools) but I do want to expose as many young kids to the right path of becoming a better player so I accpeted it...ill pray that it works out.

Ive been spending some time lookign for places to live next year. Dorm life may be making a comeback...

Trombone has been going better...still a bit out of shape but I'm gaining a lot in terms of perspective on how to practice and what to expect as I become older. I will be sending in a tape to the Las Vegas Music Festival this year after the Round Top Festival rejected me when i was named first alternate...and they needed an alternate...ironic. anyways, you live and you learn...shit happens...im looking forward to an intelligent summer practicing and getting better. Hopefully this festival in las Vegas will happen for me.

Track has been going good (as much as I hate to say it). I hate to say it because for someone who hasnt comepted for two years it is great...but for me...a bit frustrating. So far my places at the meets ive been to have been 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 1st, and 4th. My season's best has been 188-10 and my second best has ben 188-1. The observance of my otehr marks is hard to believe as alot of them are somewhat dramtically lower. I have a meet in Abilene on the 11th and the world's 7th best discus thrower will be there...i kinda looked at his website and stalked him...hes in Texas so I want to see him. I have no doubt that it will be an inspirational experience for me. I might have a bud of mine that throws for Rice come up with me. He just hit anew personal record today in discus and shot-put...congrats to him. Also in today's meet one of my trainign partner's hit a personal record in the disc ...congrats to him as well.

I gues i'll end this post with soem reflections I have made after this school year...
-I really love the non-calculative areas of life...science, math-boo...I'm gonan go ahead and say it...I do think I have a lot of depth in my personality and I have a hard time trusting formulas and charts...I more of a literature and art guy...too bad the majority of the world has no understanding for the finer points of existence.
-I have become very disappointed in modern academia. Too much empahsis is put on the acheivement of status (via-degree or certification) rather than the achievement of love, udnerstanding, perspective, depth, and truth. The term "education" now only refers to those who have simply endured college.
-I know that my potential on in music is world-class...absolutely certain...and I know that I may be beginnign to udnerstand hwo to reach that potential.
-I know that I have the desire to be a great discus thrower...I have some physical attributes...but not as much as others...but I know my desire can help me be world-class.
-I don't know when I'll have to decide between discus and trombone...but it isnt any time soon. I have to know that I tried.
-If I don't become a professional trombonist I would really find much fulfillment as a teacher of english and coach. I like english.
-I want to attend graduate school at Indiana University, Rice University, and The University of Georgia. All three of these have quality training as far as discus and music are concerned. Juilliard has no track team...
-I would hate to be a band director...HATE IT...I do admire those who are wanting to do this with their life...and NOT those who are pursuing this for a stable income only...sad.
-It has become harder and harder to assume the best of people...peopel truely are weird.
-it's amazing how much we engage in mindless conversation thus proving how generic life can become:
James: "Hey, Hows it goin?"
Quiznos guy: "Good"
James: "Im doing well"
Did he ask me how I was doing? no! but i said that ...was i engaging in nothing more than a simple generic function of the brain? sad...i blame houston traffic...
-I shouldnt be so shy around girls...some losers have hot girldfriends

aaaaand its 3:30...bed time.

Bonin'/Trainin'/whatever -elsin'

2006-04-07T01:20:00.000-05:00

Friends and colleagues,

It is a quiet early-morning friday and all is calm as I have no HW due for classes that will start in about 9 hours.

I've been extrremely bogged down and stressed lately between balancing school work, training for throwing, practicing my trombone, rehearsing, and dealing with other shit that UH administers insist that I go through. However, I am reminded every day as I leave campus that there are several homeless people in Houston's fine third ward that would kill just to have.... air conditioning. And for what blessings I do live in everyday, I thank God. It seems as though I will never have a day to breath nor to live a normal college student life...but that is the responsibility called upon me from my God and I am thankful. It's easy to look at this past year as a total hell hole but it's more important to look at how I have benefitted.

Though I am not happy with my trombone playing right now, I am learning valuable lessons when it comes to living this life of a student/athlete/musician and I do see myself conquering this struggle sometime soon. This year I have also met new colleagues, leanred more things about my playing, and have had some solid time in the school's ensembles...my playign sucks right now...but you know what...that's something that comes and goes.

Also, though I could do better as far as track goes, it really does seem silly to be upset with my performance lately. There have been meets when I performed under my ability but to look back and where I started to where I am now really helps me put it in perspective. I came off of a two year lay off from no athletic comeptitiveness besides intramural basketball. I come back to throwing after that huge layoff, start out sucking, and now-though I have miles to go- I have worked myself into a comeptitve college thrower...not only that, i won a meet and threw into UH's all-time top 5 discus throws! Yes, I have been upset with myself in throwing lately, but I will look back in retrospect and be thankful...thankful to be doing what i am doing...My trombone teacher says sometimes we get caught up in how things are going wrong for us and that is when we have to step back and realize, we are quite blessed and fortunate to have these abilities.

School....school has not been fun. And I dont mean classes...i mean dealing with the administrators here, coaches who dont understand, throwing partners who dont understand, people who dont understand, and dealing with all these complexities when it comes to my eligibility and degree. However, on the bright side, Ive leanred so much about myself here academically and emotionally then I did aywehre else. I've had to adjust to change in just about every respect of the word and it had helped me be more adpatable. For this opportunity I will thank my God.

I will also thank him for helping me utitilize the blessing of perspective. I'm glad I live my life with aburden to understand and though the society around me will never come to realize this importance, I will and for that I will thank my God. I also thank in advance for helping me show others the blessings of our humanity and to share with the the word of God. I thank God for the burden he has given me to help people seek truth and understanding in everyday lives even when I am not understood initially. I thank him for where I am. I thank him for helping me stay with my beliefs.

I live a blessed life and I have everything to owe to my God. When we do something as simple as step back and realize our blessings, there is no other choice than to thankt he creator. In my case, I have been blessed with the opportunity to throw, play my trombone, and study. I have a fan here blowing on my back-it is a terrible fan-but it sure beats the gust of trucks driving by on a hot summer day. I've got a shitty computer but it sure beats having to hike a mile to find the nearest library for internet access.

I started this post with the intent of bitching at how shitty life has been...but all I did was step back...and I'm thankful

The answers are all there...

2006-03-25T21:05:00.000-06:00

I'm no expert at life but I just don't understand when people cease to have some sense of perspective or logic...I don't understand. It's not something you "do" or "do not"...it's how you see things. You know what, maybe I do understand...maybe because people are so scared (of something) that they just don't want to understand the truth...everyone is capable of knowing the truth...i suppose not everyone is willing to face the truth. I hate hearing people who REPATEDLY always say"if I had...", "If i woulda..." like ALL THE TIME...or when people always seem to blame everything but...themselves. Now I don't want to say you should be hard on yourself but you should definitely face the truth with love and respect. I just don't understand...it's not a matter of being bad person or good person...it's a matter of wanting to know the truth and living in the truth. Why do people only live in one perception...and that perception being theirs? In reality, theres plenty of valid ways to understand one situation...why not use these? People get so caught up in non-sense that they fail to realize what something might be...misunderstandings-though completely human, they are usually a result of complete ignorance...sometimes not. Let's start a new saying...you know that one "you are what you eat?" (i would have to agree that's true because I am a big fat piece of whataburger)...let's now say..."you are what you percieve"...thats totally true...when you think everything is against you and everyone hates you or you think that person doesnt like you... 9 times out of 10, anything that person does will have you concerned because you are so caught up in yourself and how it correlates to only YOUR perception ...how do i know this...i used to be like this...then realization set in...

Also on the topic of perspective- I find it to be only humane that we look at things with a burden to make sense of it...too many people just write off things to make excuses for themselves...and thus giving into a fear of not wanting to know...since when has knowing been such a hard thing? Too many times do I speak to someone and wonder if what they just realized is something they pulled out of their ass...not in terms of knowledge...but more in terms of logical perspective...and then what happens when they cant make sense of it?...here comes the downfall of western civilization today... the use of "whatever"...we're all guilty of it... but some more than others...and especially those who use it to blow off something that they cannot figure out-then they furthur sustain into an existence of what they have been told. "Whatever"? That means to me..."i dotn want to know the truth nor realize it"

And yet another thing...these are all related in some aspects but I am also going to rant on people who LIE TO THEMSELVES of a daily basis. ESPECIALLY the species of mammal we call competitors...as a musician and athlete, i horrible cases of this all the time when people get more caught up in bragging rights and superiority over the sincere task of self promotion and support for others with the same cause. Too many times do I see people in comeptitive spheres lie to themself to massage their own insecurities and fear...how does this insecurity and fear settle in? It settles when we lose the essence of what we are doing...when we focus ourself into things that are extra from the task at hand. Athletes are particularly dumb about this...too many times do i hear of people who hope to engage in mind games during competiton. Such a bastardized form of competition instantly displaces the beauty of athletic competition. This is when were losing our love...the love of competing with other athletes on the basis of your sport. "hey, I got into his head and he couldnt focus and I won..." wow, great job,..you have just beaten someone who couldnt put forth their best effort...what an accomplishment on your part...great work. too many people take efforts to the absolute WRONG things in these situations and i dont know how any of it is gratifying...

No way am I a perfect human being...and in no way am i trying to be. The matters of logic, perspective, and sincerity to your cause seem so natively engrained into a human being and it angers me when people reject these potential beauties of life...
The most influential people in my life (mainly musicians) are so true to their cause...these are people who work hard to improve, love competition, and love the field in which they compete with, and a true love for what they do...and most importantly, these are people who seem to understand things...not because of some talent they possess...its because they remain true to themself...and the gratitude in which they possess reaches far beyond any human offering...they seek the answers that were engrained by God when he created us...why dont we use these blessings?

------------------------------------------------------------------------
Anyays, the track season has been good for me thus far...
When I first re-devoted myself to the sport I promised myself that I would hit 185' in my first meet and I hit 188'. I was so happy...I almost cried, seriously... All I could do was thank God for bringing me back to my passion of throwing after two years of thinking I was DONE.
We've had two meets so far
-UTSA relays 1st place- 188'
-TSU relays 2nd place- 177'
Didnt do too hot when it came time to compete at TSU...my warm up throws went very well-probably wouldve won the meet- but I didnt pull it together when it came time to execute...but thats OK...thats what makes competiton beautiful-its all about what you do when it counts

Ill keep you guys posted.

God bless

Beauty

2006-02-27T01:16:00.000-06:00

I just read a piece by an American born writer with Indian descent named Jhumpa Lahiri. The work is called "The Third and Final Continent" and it is an installation into a series of stories compiled and named "Interpretor of Maladies". This story chronicles the journey of an Indian man to three continents as he is securing a place for he and his wife. The road in which Lahiri takes you and how you take the journey with this man is such an emotionally compelling read.

I haven't considered myself a huge fan of writing(mainly because of too much effort to create underlying messages) but Lahiri's writing has struck a profound chord with me. Her writing is rich in description and she posseses and ability to put you right into the world in which she is writing...and there isnt some sort of burden to create asthetic beauty in writing that only college professors and their A achieving students strive for. It's the same as music...too many composers these days write to please themselves and their professors rather than to create emotionally imapcting pieces for human kind. Lahiri provides a style in which all humans can benefit from and create new understanding. That is what writing and the communication arts should ultimately do...impact other people...not just yourself through high achievemtns in making things hard to read.

Here is the ending thoughts of this story as the Indian man is reflectin upon his journey:

Still, there are times I am bewildered by each mile I have traveled, each meal I have eaten, each person I have known, each room in which I have slept. As ordinary as it all appears, there are times when it is beyond my imagination.

I have blogged this thought before but ill say it again. Every human has an individual story that is unique and beautiful. American society is so caught up in the mind of work and money that there is less "stopping to smell the roses" I suppose. Did you meet someone new today? Inyour city of say about 1 million people, you met this one person...Susan. Say susan knows someone that you do? How is that not beautiful in it's own respect? When we're working commuting between chores industrializing allt he edges of the world...do we stop to realize the beauty of our existence? How has everything become to "ordinary"? Why is it seldom for people to pause from their own life and appreciate the beauty of others? Questions can go forever on this subject...
But is our existence on this planet that ordinary? The fact that you are reading my words right now is a mircale in itself.

Quit Being Silly

2006-02-11T01:51:00.000-06:00

I just got back from a pool hall and have quite possibly seen the worst display of existence human kind is capable of offering.

It's quite fascinating to observe people in any case...but to observe people of this poolhall will leave you dumbfounded.

Now, there is no disrespect in my rambling for the game of pool; it is a rather entertaining game for people of all ages and skill. Rather, my bone to pick deals with the confusion of roles and expectations within the social aspect of these venues...or other late-night weekend houses of mingling.

Let's begin with the guy who comes in and is soooooooooooooo focusing on how people are seeing him so he walks into the room with this almost intetional studder as to signify that he is indeed, "ghetto". I think I almost feel to the gound laughing. He had a sigar in his ear and was wearing shades infoors...he was cool.

Another awesome case shines in the example of the guy who wants to meet girls (nothing wrong with that) and does so by shouting sracastic or dumb comments... what happened to...hello? Must you commit such generic rituals when meeting other people?

It's ironic...social venues serve the purpose of meeting people....not playing roles scripted by mainstream televeision/media on how social life should be.

A pool-hall...is just that. A place to play pool, and throw back a few sugs (for those who chose to drunk). It is not a stage for social theatrics...less people are themselves these days...why? What drives that?Is the concern for apporval that much overpowering than the concern of projecting your true self...
Must you wear certain clothing and speak in a broken dialect of english to be seen as acceptable?

Wow, what terrible sriting I have done.....I guess I jsut have to say...it is absolutely fascinating to see how people behave...why they do it...how pathetic it truely is...do you get what i am saying?

Very rarely do I see a group of people just gathering together and having fun...i usually se a group of people trying to chime in their ticket to acceptanc through a series fo rituals and gestures...

Some random reflection

2006-01-19T01:58:00.000-06:00

Hello all

This update will be devoted to reflectiosn that have come upon me in about the the past 2-3 hours.

Let me look back on something that happened at this past New Year's party in Dallas.
Before I left SMU I knew a horn player wery well. He graduated out the same year that I trasnferred. You couldn't walk the halls of the SMU music building without hearing heroic sounds of movie music via french horn played byt his individual. He was just known for it...if you heard Robin Hood whaling downt he hallway...it was him. It was a fact. It was his defining factor. Well, as you would imagine, he is an avid movie buff who has a vast collection of movies in just about every ganre. When he played this music, his sound was at its best...hsi style was immaculate...and his playing had a fine impact. He went on to grad school to study Law...he was a smart dude. Even though he was a good player at SMU he was somewhat shadowed by other players and he was always seen as the good person that wasn't the other good people...if you know what i mean...
At this past year's New Year party, I had the fortune of reuniting with him and catching up. We werent that close but we were real cool with each other...never had any problems with each other. Of course, we were very happy to see each other... At some point, we were looking back at our days at SMU and I jsut blurted out to him with upmost intensity..." you know what man? You always played that movie music...and I love that...that's in your heart...and you played it...and I could see that it was in your heart...people aroudns chool jsut practiced for the sake of making money in the future-all theyd o is practice excerpts and shit...and there you were...playing your song...with only an intent to play what's in your heart"...he looks me strait dead in the eye after a slight pause and a moment of somewhat accomplishment and says, " thanks man, that really means a lot to me". At that moment, I could have cried...i dunno why...but i couldve...but im a stud and I have to maintain stud status...so i didnt. I think (even if he doesnt knwo it or think) that is one of the most beautiful moments I have encountered in my life. I really do think he was speaking truely from his heart ... I just feel that maybe that's what he's always wanted...for someone to understand and appreciate his love...
It is truely beautiful to know when someone plays (or does anythign else for that matter) with no intention other than to answer to their heart...too many people fix their eyes upon a wordly goal...and though that is healthy ...it cant be the ultimate motivation of why we seek to express...to find cases of true expression are quite rare in music school these days and im glad I embraced this case.

Another topic:
I understand that everything is evloving-especially in terms of gender roles...but im sorry....
WOMEN MUST BE ABLE TO COOK! SORRY! Now, it is mutual...I am more than willing to work on my cookign and baking skills...i like doing it....btu when girls cook like ass it jsut kind of puts and annoyed look on my face...
Too many girls spend time trying to buy into this modern woman crap that hardly exists and is seen in total distortion thanks to media savvy...and less time appreciating the finer things of life...food being one of them....call me old fashioned...
But the finer points of life do not involve Sex In The City, Desperate Housewives, and clubbing all night wearing nothing but your skin...
I consider myself a progressive person but please...lets learn to feed ourselves right and get some cookign skillz....i mean damn....event he girls who think they CAN cook SUCK at cooking. Again, I wqill cook as much as I can...but please...lets do this together...and dont make me a shitty meal....cus i wouldnt do that for you....take some cookign classes...read some cook books...talkt o your mommas....actually, talk to my mom....now that lady CAN COOK... damn this modern yuppie crap....its not even reall...it jsut lies in our imagination...it make almsot no correaltion to reality if yout hink about it.

Im out...ladies, learn how to FUCKING cook and spend less time getting fake tans.

-JL

Let's be a little more understanding.

2005-12-17T00:19:00.000-06:00

Hello all,

Earlier tonight I saw a special on one of the major news shows-not quite sure which one. Maybe it was 20/20. I was utterly dissapointed at how the station handled this report and what message it relays onto the viewers.

The report was about sex offenders who target children. Now don't get me wrong. It is morally defying to sexually pursue a 9 year old boy or girl if you are a 35 year old man...that goes without saying. However, my dissapointment comes when the reporter put these sex offenders in the light of being some sort of "monsters". These people who commit these crimes are human beings with metnal illnesses and a distortion of reality. But does this constitute them to be monsters and viruses of mankind? NO! These are but humans who need help and must be at our most sensative concern. Instead of barking at them and sending back into their holes, we msut reach out our hands and help them overcome. Most of the subjects that were examined on this report did admit that they had a problem and were seeking help but the reporter's great disdain and digust was still very apparent and extremely degrading to these oxygen breathing, 4 limbed human beings.
If you accept the very core of this situation you will come to understand that these people possess a mental illness...so do we all to some degree...and we are all entitled to help. Since when has anyone barking at us about our issues helped us overcome anything at all? The way this reporter downgraded the subjects as human beings will only make them go back and feed their depression and anxiety which undoubtedly stirs up their warped view of reality. I rememebr one particular case dealing with a sex offender who was willing to speak on camera. Witha very sad face and almost helpless demeanor, he admitted his issues and stated he was getting help. The reporter then scowls "then why must your violate these kids?" in such a degrading way that the subject interviewed cried helplessly not knowing why he cannot control himself.
What we must understand is that all humans are born with defficiency in many forms...be it big or small, they are defficiencies. Asking a sex offender why he cannot stop violating is liek asking an obese person why they cannot stop overeating. With these uncertaities, some of the afflicted peopel will go seek help...yet we STILL scowl at them like they are lower forms of life.
We need to help these people if we want to get anywhere in keeping our children safe from sexual offenders.
Too many people only live in one world...and that is their own. Ths leas to several misunderstangings of why peopel are the way they are and why they commit such actions. We must consider that there are 6 billion lives on this planet with 6 billion stories. What you expect to be a given norm may not be understood by one who has been deeply traumatized by some event or tragedy. That must be considered. Help and support must be there for those we are afraid of if we wish to get anything accomplished.

Training/Trombone

2005-12-11T01:18:00.000-06:00

Trombone has been ok lately...but has it ever been great? Hahah. I guess its just part of being a student. I just sent off a tape today for a solo comp. It is notorious for having very flawed and questionable judging, however. One of my friends has entered 3 times in the past and he has yet to be invited to the finals...and I he plays in the Metropolitan Opera Orchestra...while the kids who made it to the finals of this competition over him are delivering pizzas. Nevertheless, despite sketchy judging, i wanted to send a tape and try to get an opportunity to compete...the judging is not under my control, however. The tape was pretty good for only having recorded it for about two total hours. My pianist was amazing and she was very inspiring for me...quite possibly the best accompanist in town- a Juilliard and Yale graduate and married to the Houston Symphony's Asisstant Principal Horn player. She really liked how I played and I'll be happy about that. My next recording project is goign to be for the taped audition of a summer music festival called Music Academy of The West in Santa Barbara, CA. I really want to go to this one!

Throws training lately has been...ehhhhh. I've been focusing an lot on shot-put lately because indoor season is coming up and discus isnt held until March when outdoor season begins. I did hit 55 ft one day whitch is a personal best for me but it was very short-lived. The following days I could only pull a 53-54ft at best. Then most recently, today, I would onyl get 51 ft- an obvious sign that my body needs rest as I am sustaining a sprained index fingure and a sore left calf. 60 ft would put me in place to make nationals and I think I am well capable of that by Janurary. All of us at UH are well capable of it... but boy, I cant wait for discus!
I have found a modeal thrower in Lithuanian Virgilius Alekna. He is the bes thrower in the world and gold medalist of the past two olympics in Sudney and Athens. I am looking up to him and we are pretty much identical in size. 6'7'' 285lbs- of course, he has more msucle, however...something I am working on! But yeh, Ive been really trying to model my appraoach after his.
On friday I did a plyo-circuit with my coach and he absolutely kicked my ass. This revealed a few very sore weaknesses of mine whitch is cardiovascular strength and mental toughness to remained focused even when extremely fatigued...and also some much more needed muscle gain for to promote consistency and strength. These will be other goals of mine going into the Holiday training period alogn with my goals of trimming body fat and becoming a bit more lean.

As soon as school ends, itll be about 3-4 free days then BOOM...im back into it takign 2 mini-mester courses ((2)3 hrs courses everyday), training, and maintaining a trombone practice schedule. I will have no winter break...its ok thogh...ive been eating enough cookies to keep me happy. I always have abox of cookies in my car.

Ok guys, ill hit yall up later

-JL

Training Journal Entry I (12/5/2005)

2005-12-05T23:45:00.000-06:00

So...welcome to the Blog/Training Journal. I think it'll be cool to inform you guys of my training aside from my usual rantings on this blog. So, I will indicate every training journal entry as I have witht his one (see above title). This will help me see monitor my progress and also give you guys some news on how I am doing- killing two thing swith one missile!

The semester is winding down and my strength has shot up a lot...not near where it will be eventually, but the progress is great. I came into the beginning fo the year barely able to bench press 250 lbs. My max on the Bench a few weeks ago came out to about 325 lbs. My squat at the beginning of the year could go no furthur than maybe 275. My max a few weeks ago came out to 425 lbs. Im VERY happy with these gains especially considering that these gains are a result of only a few months of training. There is still, howeverm quite a ways to go.

My strength has gone up and so has my weight. I went from 270 lbs to 285 lbs in a matter of months. Good news is, my body fat percentage has stayed the same at about 17% thus indicating the growth of muscle mass I gained. However, right now I am too fat for lack of better words...I will go into the christmas break with the goal of trimming up and maintaing my strength progression. I'm going to have to montior my saturated fats intake and incorporate more cardiovasicular excercise into my training schedule. My ideal body for season is 275 lbs and 10-12% body fat. It's going to take some work and breaking of bad habbits. I've been hitting up McD's and other fast-food establishments about 1-2 times a day!

Our strength coaches are goign to give us a winter work-out and I will be training hard over the break with my throwing patnas. I'm lookign forward to that very much! One thing that has been great about throwing is the support and guidance I'm getting from my coach and fellow throwers here. It truely is a great place to be. I'm very supportive of them, they are supportive of me...and theres one common goal for everyone...throwing shit really far.

Just as my strenght has increased, my throwing has increased dramtically as well. When I picked up the discus this past summer after two years off, I barely scratch 155' feet. It is now December and I am at about a solid 170'...sometimes throwing 175'. Shot-Put wise, I am at about 52' and hopefully for our firsty indoor meet in Janurary, I will hit 55+. ZThsat would be a great mark to build on for the rest of the season. Discus doesnt start until outdoor season which is in March. My goal for the first meet is 185'. I think I can do it...

So there it is...my main focus over the break is to get my body in better shape and more fit. I have undoubtedly increased my strength but now it's time to lean up the body and shed fat. This is gonna be tough.

See you later,
JL

Recent Happenings

2005-11-28T01:31:00.000-06:00

Friends and Colleagues,

Thanksgiving has passed and I have had my good share of rest and gluttony.

Right on Thanksgiving day, my mom and I left for a church conference that was held in LA right near the airport in the Westin Hotel. It was real cool. However, the real eventful moments happened during a random discovery expedition taken by me and a few friends of mine fron Austin that were also at the same conference. Since the conference had scheduled no time for us to see the city of LA, we decide to escape for one night and travel through the city of Los Angeles via public bus system! We boarded a bus near our hotel and took it an uncertain direction. Wew were slowly creeping into the ghetto...I was a bit concerned yet very exited to see the gehtto of LA first hand! It wasn't until a very helping lady on the bus realize dthat we were tourists and suggested that we head toward hollywood. We looked at eachother and said "sweet". We got off to make a connection to another bus and as I looked around, I notice that everyone was black...haha....this was obviously one of the blackest areas I have ever seen. A nice lady at the bus stop who was also waiting informed us that we were in Inglewood which is a section of LA that is known to be pretty black. I hear about Inglewood as a few rappers are from there. From Inglewood, we took the bus no 210 towards Hollywood. This bus was awful, bunch of homeless people and the odor was nothing short 0f smelling like PISS. Anyways, it was still fun to be in the LA Ghetto...haha. And the bus we were on was riding on CRENSHAW BLVD...ever heard of that one? I asked one fella on the bus how far we were from Hollywood and he told us that we would bne sitting a good 45 minutes. Well, that was kinda depressing so we diecided to stop somewhere along the way to get out and see random parts of LA. So we did...and we ended up in apart of Korea Town...otherwise known as K-Town. Everything was Korean. Unfortunately, everythign was closed down and all we did wa sjsut walk around and burn claories from the big thanksgiving dinner we had at the hotel.

From there, we hopped the bus again and at this point, it was well into the night and transportation comion back home had become a huge qiestion mark as we had no diea when the buses would still be runnign when were done terrorizing hollywood. Nevertheless, we got to Hollywood and compelted on journey to seeing LA. Once we got to Hollywood, we saw alot of cool things and a lot of weired people. There is a museum lined up on Hollywood street and alady gathered us in somehow and told is there was a free exhibit...we were like...."wy not?" The exhibit was about the famous American writer/philosopher L. Ron Huffman. It whole thing was pretty cool. Somewhere in the middle of the exhibit, the tour guide introduced us to a religion that Hubbrad had began...the religion known as Scientology. Yeah, thats the stufd Tom Cruise is going crazy about. I was only itnerested in learning of it but not interested of converting...but she did give in dept detail that was very interesting...the tour ended, the lady was awesome...and we were out...on the way out, as we got to baout 100 yards away, we look up towards the museum and realize that this is a huge 20+ story building that has a sign ont he top in huge letters, "Church of Scientology". So that was funny...haha, no wonder this lady was goign in dept on scienbtology...and then as we walked around hollywood more, we saw more and more buildings devooted tot he promotion of Scientology...nethertheless, the exhbit about the man behind Scientlogy was so interesting. You guys should read up on him.

It was about 12am at this point we decided to find some "only in Hollywood" grubb before we left out random journey of LA . We ended up at a place called Johnny Rockets and the food was delish. Buses steopped working at this poitn so we took an LA cab back tot he hotel for the fee of 50 damn dollars to make our LA themed jouney complete.

All in all, I think our journey of LA was magnficant despite having ended up in the ghetto and hind of lost in random places with jsut hte three of us at niht in the closed down city of Los Angeles. We seriously shouldve brought a camera. We literally jsut got bored, hopped on arandom bus, took it to a random place, then we began apursuit of ending up in Hollywood...it serious was an epic journey that I enjoyed every step of the way...if you guys ever go to LA...just travel it with random bus routes and maybe...jsu tmaybe,...you might have as cool trip as we did.

Ite guys,,,,damn school tomorrow...see you guys on the flip flop.

-JL

Keepin' y'all posted

2005-11-21T01:44:00.000-06:00

Friends and colleagues,

A lot has happened since I last wrote but I forgot about half of it. Training in both throwing and music so far have been awesome. Throwing wise, I am reaching new distances and stronger lifts in the weight room. Trombone wise, Im starting to gain some good perspective on playing.

However, let me dedicate this entry and share the fact that I just absolutely love music. I mean, It's one of the only things that I am sure about in my life...and that is that I love music. Even if by some odd happening, I do not end up being a performer, I will still love music. And of course, this is mainly classical and jazz I am talking about. My life has been extremely stressful lately and I have been feeling like people don't understand me. Music, though....music is where I live. Music is my reality...music is where I can be understood. I have found no greater joy than what I feel when I hear a heart gripping melody of Brahms or a weeping plea by the hand of Beethoven. it is truely divine. I wrote this knowing well that it has a risk of being cheesy but I can say it no other way or find another means of sharing this...this fact that music is what I speak, eat, breath...music is what I go to ...music is where i come from...music is where I live...music is what sustains my life...what a pleasure it is to share music with everyone else! Please, just believe me on this one.

Some things coming up:
-Los Angeles during Thanksgiving Break
-Finals
-Sending in tape for International Trombone Association Competition
-Training my azz off

Alright, dudes... keep it classy

-JL

Do What YOU Want to Do

2005-10-16T19:38:00.000-05:00

Friends and Colleagues,

Im going to rant about something and not give much attention to grammar and just blow through this thought and submit it...I will try my best to make sure you can understand it, however.

My church is a great church. It is indeed. However, I still consider this place a germ pool of the wrong ideals of life... Now, the christianity part is cool...I dig it... However, I could not disagree more with the attitude of the congregation on issues regarding how to raise children and guide their ambition. I am confident that this is a problem with much of the kids raised in asian households and I am using my church as an example. Well, hell, not just asian people...all people in general...especially high school kids.

Now, I consider my life to be a perfect blessing... and I am veeeeerrry thankful for that no matter how many obstacles my family has faced. One thing that I will have to give props to my parents for is the fact that they really let me do what I wanted to do...infact, when I make huge decisions...sometimes dealing with money, my dad never seems to fail me always saying "if it helps you and you need it, then I will help you". And be sure about it, we are NOT a finacially well off family. It was that trust my dad always gave me. I ended up playing 4 sports, excelled in most of them, and also evolved into an enthusiastic student of music...none of which was forced upon me by my parents.

Some would not be able to trust their children as much...but thats when you give it to God and pray that he may guide your kids...im sure that's what my parents did...in fact, I know that's what they did.

However, I am saddened at the pressure some of these kids allow themselves to be in...it is a problem stirred by the parents, society, and the kids themselves letting these things pressure them. I bring up my church because I feel that this is resonated loudly in the Korean-Amreican culture (yet, is also something families of all races are guilty of). I hear about kids groaping and whining about how busy they are and how much they "have" to do this and that... but that's the problem...these kids are pressured so much into doing so many things and dont experience the grattitude of doign these things upon their own will.... hence feeling like they "have" to go to tennis practice,,,good for the resume into Harvard...thats why they do tennis. Last time I checked, tennis was agreat sport for the sake of enjoyment. If anyone contantly lives with the mentality that everything is on a "have" to do basis...they are not enjoying what they are doing. " I have tennis lessons, then SAT study, then piano lessons, then tutoring...oh man, my life sucks right now"---this is terrible and i cringe when i hear kids talking about this stuff...and I become mad at two things; 1) How unfortunate it is that these kids have allowed themselves to think on terms of merit thorugh activity rather than fulfillment and 2) how much their parents and society have instilled this horrible mentality. When people take on these self enriching activities, it should be done through love and and understanding...not a pursuit to gain prestige that can be visible on their resume. Sports, music, art, volunterring...etc.....this should all be done out of love, concern, understanding....not be done to build up merit capital. When you embark on an acitvity, it should be done because YOU want to do it-Because you might find some enjoyment in it...you dont take initial steps towards participating in activites through thoughts of merit or social acceptance...

Existence is such a great gift. I am always one to encourage that people do as much as they can and live a lfie of thanksgiving and fulfillment. However, I just totally disagree with the atrocities happening with kids today. Kids pursue and work hard with the goal of " it will look good on my resume...or it will look good to the college admissions". Excuse me, but what the FUCK. Activites should be done for the sake of humanity... I just dont agree with this shit. Im pretty pissed right now as I write more.

It is my demand that more parents encourage rather than force the issue... one parent at my church wa sso puzzled at the fact that I did so much in HS and my parents had jsut baout no input on what i did...she was so puzzled...and as a result i was puzzled...am i not supposed to be able to activate myself in so many things...must my parents do it for me? It saddened me...parents jsut do not trust their kids...and parents have beciome so obssessed witht his worldy view of success that they feel the need to interfere with what their kids really want to do...im so happy right now that I throw and play trombone...these are things that I did out of love...not out of what i am "supposed to do". Now, certain things mus tbe forced...and their can be exceptions...but the mindset of doing for the sake of merit and not love is so horrible. It is also horrible to pass these terrible pressures on to your children...lives are being numbed daily...it makes me want to cry.

In somewhat related topic, here is a copy of a letter I gave to UH as they asked for me to write about my intent relating to my chosen area of study...i hope you enjoy it...it has no editions; this is what i gave them:

James Lee

Letter of Intent for Spring 2006 admission

My Intent through My Musical Studies

My intent in my pursuit of music training is plain and simple: get as good as I can-with aid of qualified professionals and colleagues- and take my training and ability out into the world. I am confident that if I fully utilize the combination of the great opportunities provided at the Moores School of Music and my abilities, I will be able to bring the world an essential part of music culture. My ultimate goal and why I practice to play my best is to be prepared to change someone’s life through my life as a musician. People have literally changed my life through their presence or performance and they are still yet to know it or even have yet to meet me! (Like the lady who sat in the middle of the Houston Symphony Violin section in a performance of Handel’s Water Music on a field trip I took in the 4^th grade) Practicing to be the best I can be will put me in the situations to influence people as they have influenced me

Now, for the sake of providing a more clear ambition of what type of occupation I would like to have, I would have to say a job as an orchestral trombonist would top my list. So I’ll practice my excerpts and the discipline of orchestral playing to achieve this goal. Though it is a beautiful job to have, it will be only that…my job. For as long as I will consider myself a professional upon graduation, my life will be devoted to sharing the blessing of music with others and sustaining the strongest force of human communication. I find it quite disappointing that many students put the pursuit of occupations in front of purpose in their study.

I am also blessed with an opportunity to accompany my musical pursuits with a career in track and field as a discus and shot-put thrower. Upon graduation, I will resume my training as an athlete and give Olympic birth my best shot. The disciplines of music and sports go hand in hand as they both require responsibility that is resonated directly through performance. I am hopeful that I can be in a position to pursue these two ambitions at a place like U of H where I can receive world-class training in both…but yes, my intent and only intent as a musician is to rock the world.

21st birthday weekend and Dallas

2005-10-10T22:06:00.000-05:00

Hello all,

I spent this past weekend in Dallas and my birthday was Friday. I could pretty much only make it up to Dallas for a visit once this semester and it just so happens that I chose the perfect time. Here's why
-bday weekend
-the recital of a dear friend of mine
-the return of two other SMU evacuees

All in all, I must say it was a great weekend in Dallas. Although I am happy with my life decision to transfer to Houston, I must say that I truely miss being at SMU and it makes me so angry that I could not pursue track and field there due to a lack of a men's track team! Doing track and music at SMU really would be the perfect situation. They threw me a party and it was fun... I got to see a lot of old friends and I was touched when people came by to wish me happy birthday.

The next day, I went and saw Charlene (SMU oboe major) and TJ's (SMU clarinet major) joint recital and as is the case with all recitals, I enjoyed it thoroughly. It was a very well played recital, indeed. Recitals by professionals are very touching but seeing your own colleagues in recital is something special. I had the pleasure of being stagehand. Fate kind of reared it's familar head with me...it turns out, that every recital that Charlene has ever played, I was a stagehand. The weekend that I was availiable to come up was the weekend Charlene had scheduled a recital months in advance...how could I avoid it? I had to be stagehand. One thing I have missed dearly is watchign recitals. UH has been having recitals and such but my schedule lately hasnt allowed me to see them. Seing arecital this weekend in such afamilar place really placed me back into that peaceful musical refuge.

In other news, I had a pretty good lesson last week with my trombone teacher here. Things are finally starting to kick back up and I'm beginning to feel my stride in playing. I also taught my high school kids today and did it rather well I must say. Teaching is something that I'm real proud of. I do have some young teacher's flaws in my teaching but I think my overall apporach is working extremely well for the most part. I expect a lot out of these kids and they seem to respond. The ones who didn't I encouraged to quit for the sake of not wasting each other's time. I've only lost 2 students...everyone else understands what I expect of them and they do it...it's awesome. I really emphasize the importance of being responsible and playing for the sake of...well, playing. Some of these kids get trapped in the competitive aspect of playing and have lost understanding of the gratifying experience of bringing love and respect to their playing and their audience... Im really glad to be able to influence a wave of young players to directly influence and shape their musical pursuits how ever far they take them.

Now I must go do Math HW and study for a math test... just 3 of my 21 hrs of class.

Stay tuned!

-JL